Tag Archives: Weight Loss

#WeekendCoffeeShare for June 16, 2018

I have seriously been meaning to write more and have had a few ideas floating around my head. Someohow though I could never find the energy or motivation to actually sit down and write a post. This week, a lot happened, so it’s about time I join in Alli’s #WeekendCoffeeShare again.

If we were having coffee, first I’d tell you all about the visit to a few possible new day activities places last Monday. There were four places that I would be visiting: a day center like the one I go to now, an industrial workshop, an arts place and a farm. The care consultant explained about each place and said the farm was pretty large and low-support, so I would most likely not be able to do much there. I don’t like industrial work, so I turned that one down too. The arts place, we did visit, but it didn’t turn out to be suitable. They mostly do textile arts, painting and drawing there, none of which I can do. They also do ceramics, which I can do but don’t usually like. It was also rather crowded and noisy there.

The day center consists of four groups, two of which are relatively high-support. I was shown around these two groups. The first one, which is the highest-support one, seemed really suitable. They have arund a 1:5 staff/client ratio, which is similar to my current group and is doable for me. The group seemed a little more structured than my current group. They go for walks regularly. They also have a garden with some swings and a rocking lounger. The center has a sensory room near this group. I spoke to one of the staff for this group, who happened to have seen me at the horseback riding school a few times. You see, some people from this day center go horseback riding there too. They also go swimming every other Tuesday. I assume this is only for peoople for whom a volunteer buddy can be found, but I hope that should I transfer here, I can do this too.

I was up front about the fact that I could have meltdowns if my irritability isn’t acknowledged and dealt with on time. I think though that if I transfer here, the consultant from the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) can help us figure out a good support plan.

We also visited the other group, where people do mostly table-based activities. This group was a little more crowded and lower-support and I like walking and sensory activities more than table-based tasks. I ultimately chose to try out at the first group. On June 25 and 26, I’ll be spending the mornings there. We’ll be evaluating this on the 26th. I have decided to wait to potentially transfer till we’ve spoken to the CCE consultant on July 31.

I can’t convey through writing how excited I am about this possible new opportunity. I really hope it works out. Transportation may be an issue, but I have my hopes up that this will be sorted out.

Next, I’d be sharing about my next session of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) with my nurse practitioner. It was good. We discussed rational, emotional and wise mind. Wise mind is like intuition, the integration of emotion and reason. One of the goals of DBT is to get into wise mind more often.

Last week, I had called the on-duty nurse at the psychiatric unit because I was close to a crisis due to feeling very lonely. I had initially felt really bad about having called, because loneliness is a common reason for me to land in near-crisis and need to call them. My nurse practitioner validated me, saying I don’t have their phone number for no reason.

If we were having coffee, I’d share about my weight loss this past week. I lost 1.5kg in just over a week. Now this evening we went to an all-you-can-eat restaurant, so I’ve probably gained it back, but I’ll lose it again soon enough. I also met the recommended daily step goal (10,000 steps) again on Wednesday.

What have you been up to lately?

What Would It Take for Me to Be in Optimal Physical Health?

Yesterday marked one year since the start of my weight loss journey. At the time, I’d set myself a goal of having a BMI under 30 in a year, which would mean I’d lost approximately 10kg. Well, I reached that goal last January, maintained it for a few months and gained weight again this past month. I’m now almost where I was last December. I need to lose 2kg to be at a BMI under 30.

I originally intended to write a post about my weight loss attempts and how I’d been doing. That got rather boring. I didn’t reach my goal, but I got close. As my husband says, I got an 80% on my weight loss exam.

Rather than boring you with my weight loss stats, I want to write about my physical health as a whole. I picked up the 24-day whole health journaling challenge from Mari L. McCarthy again. I started this challenge several years ago, but never finished it. One of the exercises at the beginning of the challenge is to write out what comes to mind when you think of your ideal physical well-being or balance. Here goes.

If I’m in optimal physical health, I’ll wake up rested each morning after sleeping eight to nine hours a night. This means I’ll have a good quality of sleep, which also hopefully means I won’t snore anymore. I won’t sleep during the day and will not sleep more than ten hours on the week-end.

I’ll eat a balanced diet. I am allowed to enjoy salty snacks or sweets once in a while, but mostly will snack on vegetables and fruits. I will drink at least two liters of water each day. If needed, I’ll take my Metamucil for constipation, but I hope to manage that with diet and exercise. I will find out what foods trigger my irritable bowel syndrome. As a result, I’ll not feel bloated or get bowel cramsp anymore. I will also not get acid reflux anymore. I can manage this with medication, but I’ll also practise slower eating.

Once in optimal health, I am able to walk for 5km without getting exhausted. I will reach my Fitbit’s recommended daily step goal (10,000 steps) a few times a week through regular walks and other exercise. I will go on the elliptical for at least 25 minutes five days a week. I’ll also do weight lifting exercises three days a week. I’ll steadily increase my weight bearing ability.

In summary, to reach optimal physical health, I’ll eat healthfully, exercise regularly and practise good sleep habits. This will help me feel energized and fit and lessen my physical symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome and reflux.

#WeekendCoffeeShare for June 3, 2018

Welcome to this week’s #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m a little late this week, as yesterday my husband and I spent most of the day at my in-laws and I didn’t have my computer or external keyboard for my phone with me, so I could barely type. So grab a cup of your favorite drink and sit with me as I write about this week. I’ll have a cup of green tea instead of coffee even though it isn’t terribly late here yet.

On Saturday last week, I finally went onto the scale again. I hadn’t weighed myself in a few weeks. As I feared, I had gained weight, but even more than I expected. I’d gained 2kg. I was so angry with myself. I mean, yes, we’d eaten pizza three evenings that week, but that couldn’t possibly explain such a huge weight gain. My husband tried to reassure me, saying I was probably constipated. This may be so, as the next day I’d gained another 800 grams. Tomorrow marks one year since the start of my weight loss journey and I’m afraid I will not reach my goal of having a BMI under 30. Then again, last January, I did reach this goal already and stayed at that weight all through early May.

On Sunday evening, the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) coordinator E-mailed me and my support coordinator. As we’d had the meeting with her on the 15th of May, she’d planned on discussing my case on the following Monday but hadn’t realized this was a bank holiday. She had eventually discussed me with her colleague and had decided to ask a consultant to focus assessment on my needs and wishes rather than on a diagnosis. On Tuesday, she E-mailed us again to let us know she’d found a suitable consultant and we’d be contacted again to set an appointment for a first meeting.

My support coordinator had also inquired about getting long-term care funding for me. Whether this is possible, depends on whether my blindness is the primary reason for my care or my mental health or autism. If it’s blindness, I may get long-term care funding, whereas if it’s autism or mental illness, I definitely won’t. Long-term care funding would enable me to move to supported housing for the disabled or get more support while living with my husband.

On Thursday, I had my first session of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) with my new nurse practitioner. DBT was originally developed for treating people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It’s usually group therapy. Though I do have BPD traits, I’m also autistic, which means that group therapy would be hard for me. I therefore do the DBT individually. I had already started DBT with my community psychiatric nurse, who left recently. My nurse practitioner, who took over from her, proposed to start at the beginning of the therapy manual again. We only managed to work through the first page, which details the goals of DBT. There are four skills domains on which I’ll work: mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness and distress tolerance.

I also realized as I was talking to my nurse practtitioner how angry I still am at the psychologist from the institution who kicked me out almost with no after care last year. My nurse practitioner did the intake interview for this team with me last year and mentioned how he and the psychiatrist got a totally different impression of me than said psychologist had painted. The psychologist had diagnosed me with dependent personality disorder for claiming care I supposedly didn’t need. She removed my autism diagnosis. The nurse practitioner and psychiatrist saw pretty soon that I’m not dependent at all. Yes, I need a lot of support, but that’s due to my disabilities (including autism), not low self-esteem. In fact, I just realized how this psychologist had in fact broken my self-determination. I don’t feel safe to ask for help much now and am a lot more passive than I was when I had this dependency diagnosis. My nurse practitioner validated my feelings, in fact saying that the reason for the CCE involvement is in part the poor after care this psychologist had arranged for.

On Friday, I went adaptive horseback riding again. Angie, my horse, was scared of a car passing by and attempted to go on the run while I sat on her back. This was terrifying. Thankfully, I managed to keep seated on her back. She was quickly calmed down again, but I was shocked for a bit aftwards. So was the girl who held the horse. Thanfkully, the instructor always walks beside my horse because of my blindness, so the girl wasn’t on her own. I still had fun horseback riding.

I’ve yet to think of what I want for my birthday at the end of the month. I will have to look at sensory toy shops for inspiration. I’m also thinking of starting up the soap making craft again, so maybe I’ll ask for supplies for that.

What have you all been up to this past week?

Food Plan: A Week of Healthy Eating

It’s been six months since I embarked on my weight loss and healthier living journey. It’s been going with ups and downs. I lost five kilograms in my first month of attempting to lose weight. Then, I slowly lost more then gained it back. At the end of October, I was at the same weight I’d been at in early July. IN other words, while I had maintained the loss of those first five kilograms, I hadn’t lost any more. Now over the month of November, I lost three kilograms again. I now only need to lose two kilograms to no longer be obese. This means that the goal I set last June, which was to be just plain overweight rather than obese within a year, is still within reach.

One exercise I came across when reading journaling guides for overeaters, is to imagine one day of normal eating. The idea is to imagine what it’d be like to eat normally for a day, then put that plan into actual action. The thing is, even when I was still deep in disordered eating, I usually had a few days of mostly normal eating before I’d down a whole bag of sweets and/or a bag of crisps and/or other unhealthy foods wthin half an hour. For this reason, I’m going to change the exercise a little and create a food plan for a week. Most things I have already implemented, in fact.

Breakfast

I will eat a healthy breakfast each day. This means I’ll eat lower-fat yoghurt with muesli. I used to eat crunchy muesli most days, but I changed that to regular fruit muesli about a month ago. This contains significantly less calories than crunchy muesli, but it does seem to contan somewhat more sugar. Last week, I bought muesli with nuts, which I think I’ll like better than fruit muesli anyway and which is less sugary.

Lunch

I used to eat two slices of bread with peanut butter. Last month, I decided to get sandwich spread instead, which is much lower in calories, although some people tell me it’s not necessarily healthier.

In addition to bread, I started eating a few carrots, tomatoes and cucumber slices for lunch each day. I love to snack on vegetables and particularly the carrots make me feel full too.

Dinner

My husband cooks and serves my food, so I generally trust him to make me relatively healthy meals and limit my portions. Each Friday though, he gets us fries with a snack. When I restarted my weight loss journey a month ago, I thought I’d have to let go of this, but I don’t. Weight loss doesn’t mean never eating any unhealthy food, after all. That’s why I’m pretty wary of Overeaters Anonymous’ idea of abstinence as a goal. I much prefer Eating Disorders Anonymous’ idea of balance.

Snacks

I can have fruit or rice crackers as snacks when I’m home from day activities in the afternoon. During morning coffee at day activities, I should try to turn down the gingerbread, as it’s pretty high in calories and I don’t even like it very much.

On Wednesday, we have a cooking activity at day activities. I love it and am so glad I have been able to fully participate in it, including eating, while still losing weihgt. The staff usually serve it, so they decide on portion sizes.

Every other Friday, my mother-in-law accompanies me to the pharmacy to pick up my medications. I have decided that I can still buy myself something to snack on at the grocery store that’s near the pharmacy, but it needs to be something relatively healthy. For example, the last time, I had chicken bites. Then, I ate them all in one sitting, which I’m not planing on doing tomorrow. I’m still undecided as to whether I can get myself the chicken bites again and hope I’ll restrain myself and leave some for my husband, or whether I should get something else. Here, the goals of abstinence versus balance are competing again.

Drinks

I usually have coffee, tea and water throughout the day. I can have a fizzy drink or juice every once in a while. I should aim for at least two liters of fluids each day. Not even so much for weight loss purposes, but more to prevent getting constipated.

Reasons I Want to Lose Weight

I am nearly three weeks into my weight loss journey. So far, I have managed to keep off the weight I lost in my first week, but haven’t lost any more weight. Next week is my birthday, which is too special an occasion for dieting. My parents and sister will be over this coming week-end, but I don’t hope that between this and my actual birthday, that will be three days of overeatig. I’m just hoping that I won’t gain any weight.

I fully intended to stick with the journaling challenge which my post last week was inspired by regularly. I did stick with the food journal, but other things got in the way of me journaling about my journey again. The second exercise in the 28-day weight control journaling challenge by Mari L. McCarthy asks me to list every reason I can think of why I want to lose weight. McCarthy recommends going beyond the obvious reasons and digging deeper into my motivation. I have been thinking all week and it’s proving harder than I expected. Today, I will attempt to do this exercse.

Health-Related Reasons

My health is the main reason I want to lose weight. I once watched an episode of Dr. G: Medical Examiner in which Dr. G examined the bodies of people who had died of the five most common avoidable causes of death in the United States. One of the bodies was of a young woman of my height who weighed 117kg. My first thought was: “So I’m not that bad.” Then again, that woman was dead. I am alive and would like to continue living for another five or six decades. Obesity was at the time the second most common avoidable cause of death after smoking. I am pretty sure it’s surpassed smoking now.

Here are the health-related reasons for me to lose weight.


  • I have high blood pressure, whch is linked to obesity. I want to prevent this hypertension from becoming chronic.

  • I snore. This not only wakes my husband. It also causes me to wake up unrefreshed. Snoring is bidirectionally related to obesity. I don’t stop breathing (yet), but I don’t want to get this far and ideally want to stop snoring entirely.

  • I want to increase my mobility, endurance, flexibility and general fitness.

  • I don’t want to become a type 2 diabetic.

  • Coronary heart disease runs in my family on both sides. I want to lower my risk of this.

  • I have back pain semi-regularly. This is in part due to scoliosis, but I’m pretty sure those 20kg of extra weight I carry don’t help.

Mental Health

Exercise and eating a balanced diet are not just good for your physical health, but mental health as well. I experience mild to moderate depression every once in a while. Though at the time I was most miserable in my life, I was at a healthy weight, my weight of course wasn’t the reason I was miserable. Besides, even though I felt miserable at the time, I didn’t feel as inert as I often do now. This could definitely be related to those extra pounds.

Then there is my self-image. I know that my body image and self-esteem aren’t magically going to increase if I lose weight and my husband still finds me attractive. However, I do feel that increased physical fitness will increase my sense of success.

Goals

So what are my weight loss goals? My ultimate goal is to be at a healthy BMI in 2 1/2 years. As I already said, in one year, I want to have dropped my first 10kg so that I’m no longer obese.

One month from now, I want to be able to work-out on the elliptical trainer for 25 minutes a day, five days a week. I also hope that by that time, I’ve heard from the adaptive horseback riding school I signed up for last week. Lastly, I hope to have dropped one kilogram.

Inspire me. What are your reasons for staying at or getting to a healthy weight?

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Finally Starting My Weight Loss Journey

On the Sunday before yesterday, I finally stepped onto the scale for the first time since leaving the institution. I had resolved for months that I’d be losing weight once home. Though I had done an okay job of not overeating, I made up for this by regular evening snacking.

I was rather scared as I went onto the scale. In the institution, I had felt nervous, but I didn’t feel like I had to compare myself to the nurses who were weighing me. My husband is at a healthy weight yet still wants to lose a little, while I am obese. I was very scared that my husband would judge me. I hoped I had lost weight, but I had not been on this particular scale in months. As it turned out, I had unfortunately gained quite a bit of weight. I was at my highest weight ever. Being shocked that I weighed nearly 80kg (176lbs), while I am only 1.53m (5ft) tall, I decided to finally lose weight. I use a journaling workbook by Mari L. McCarthy to guide me through the first month. Today’s post is an adaptation of the first jornaling exercise. It asks me to freewrite for ten minutes. I need more time to write out my thoughts on the start of my weight loss journey.

I started a food journal last Thursday. It was hard, because I really had no clue how to know whether I was consuming too many calories. Not that I meant to be too judgmental of myself. I had kept a food journal once before when I was around fourteen and all it did was depress me. Now at that time I just went on overeating like I’d done before and judged myself without actually using my findings as a starting point for change.

On Saturday, my husband showed me a site where you can see how many calories are in each product. I still don’t plan on keeping full track of my calorie intake, but it does help me become aware of which foods are healthy and which are not. For example, people believe that dried fruit is healthy, but for weight loss it definitely is not. I happened to know this one, but a few other calorie facts are surprising to me. For example, I sincierely believed gingerbread is healthy until I found out that a large slice of gingerbread contains about 150 calories. Now I know why at day activities, we can only have it once a week.

When I went onto the scale again on Saturday, I had lost 2kg. It’s probably more because I had been a bit bloated the week before, but it still gives me hope. I originally resolved to lose 10kg in a year, which would put me in the overweight rather than obese range. I hope that over the next month, I can keep these 2kg off at least and maybe even lose some more. I need to lose about a kilogram a month to reach my goal.

Besides making sure I eat less and healthier, I decided to go get my butt off the chair. On the day I started my journey, I resolved to walk for 36 minutes, which would burn the amount of calories I’d have to consume less each day to reach my goal. After 20 minutes, my right foot hurt so badly that I had to slowly walk back home. I do better on the elliptical. Last Saturday, I managed 25 minutes on it. We also went swimming a few times last week, which I love.

I really hope that this journey is going to be a mostly positive experience. There will be hard times, as I’ll no doubt be tempted to overeat again. I hope I will overcome these without giving in or giving up.

Mummy Times Two

New Year’s Resolutions for 2016 (Plus Looking Back at 2015)

Happy 2016! I just returned from spending new year’s at my parents’ and am quite tired. I had fun but also felt pretty easily overloaded while there, so much so that the turn of the year went by in a bit of a blur. So it’s 2016. I keep typing 2015, then when I try to correct myself I type 2017. It’s not because I don’t know what year it is, but simply that my fingers are not used to typing the year 2016 yet.

During 2015, I made new year’s resolutions at the start of the year and set monthly goals at various times of the year. I rarely followed through and hardly ever looked back. Today, however, I am going to look back at my 2015 new year’s goals and also discuss my goals for the new year.

1. Blogging. I resolved to blog at least twice a week in 2015. This was mostly a success. When illness or stress got in the way, I blogged less often, but when I felt well, I often blogged more. I also participated in two month-long blog challenges: #AtoZChallenge in April and #Write31Days in October. For 2016, I will continue to attempt to blog twice a week when physical and mental health permit it. I will give blog challenges some more thought, as they were fun in 2015 but not as rewarding as I’d imagined they’d be. I can’t wait to discover and connect with new bloggers this year.

There wasn’t a year that I started and dropped more blog-related projects than in 2015. I mostly messed with three or four versions of my Dutch blog, but also had the Recovery Bloggers Network running for a week or so when I got the flu and gave up. In 2016, I hope to give blog-related projects more thought before starting them and then giving up.

2. Writing. I resolved to journal more, possibly offline. This has not been a success. I tried several journaling solutions, including good ol’ Notepad, EverNote and various pieces of journaling software. However, the problem seemed to be I couldn’t make a commitment to journaling offline regularly. This may be because of my drive to overshare everything I create. I will give journaling some more priority in 2016, but it might just be online.

3. Crafting. I resolved to improve my polymer clay modeling skills and invest in an art journal. The art journal idea is still on my mind, but it’s been for several years and, like the offline journal, never got off the ground. I did work some more with polymer clay, but can’t say I quite improved. I learned a few bead-making skills, but didn’t really put a lot of effort into it. I also tried several other crafts, like loom knitting and crochet, but quit pretty soon. For 2016, I resolve to find a craft I can commit to practising regularly.

4. Reading. In 2015, I resolved to finish some books I’d started reading in 2014. This goal can be ticked off. I also resolved to focus my reading more on juvenile fiction and autobiographies rather than more academic non-fiction. This did indeed happen. For 2016, I hope to continue this trend.

5. Fitness. This was a massive fail. I resolved to lose five to ten kilograms but instead gained a few. I also resolved to lessen my binge eating, which I also failed at miserably. I did start exercising again, but not regularly enough. For 2016, I am still hoping I can lessen the binges. I plan to get into a more regular exercise routine. I hope to get my BMI under 30 at least, which requires me to lose about five kilograms.

6. Mental health. In 2015, I hoped to find a PRN medication or other way of averting crises that are inevitable. About a month ago, my psychiatrist said that my current PRN medication is the best choice for me, because the only thing that works better in most people are benzodiazepines. Since I have both personal and familial history of benzo addiction/dependence, my psychiatrist is not willing to put me on a benzodiazepine. I unfortunately have not been able to find any other strategies either, although it seems as though my crises have become significantly less frequent. For 2016, I’m just hoping I can stay relatively stable amidst the stress of moving in with my husband. I am resolving to get my crisis prevention plan updated for the home situation.

7. Housing. In 2015, I resolved to find out where I would be living after discharge from the institution. I have decided to go live with my husband, but I’ve not yet found out whether I’ll truly be able to make that transition. I am pretty sure that regardless I’ll be discharged this year, so I’m resolving to make the transition go smoothly.

8. Relationships. I didn’t have any real goals other than continuing to love and stay married to my husband. I’ll tick that off as a success, obviously and make the same resolution for 2016.

Mr and Mrs T Plus Three

December 2015 Goals

Wow, it’s December, the last month of 2015. Last Thursday, when my husband and I got the keys to our new home, we had to pay the rent for the rest of the year. It’s amazing and shocking at the same time how we have only less than 31 day sleft till the end of 2015. Today, I’m going to list some goals I have for this last month of the year.

1. Blog at least twice a week on each of my blogs. I have restarted my Dutch blog (again!), which means I now have to divide my blogging attention between two blogs. It’s not much if you see how many blogs I’ve created over the past years, but the fact is I’ve never kept up with more than two, so this is hard enough. I am terrible at dividing my attention, so I hope that this time it’ll be a success.

2. Not put on any weight. I’m not going to aim for weight loss in this festive month, because I know that’s just not going to happen. However, last week I was at the exact point weight wise I was last March, which was the heaviest I’ve been ever. It’s only a bit heavier than where i was in September of 2014, but it’s still significant that this is my heaviest weight. I just can’t keep on cutting mysef slack, because then my BMI will be over 40 in no time.

3. Finish at least one of the books I started reading earlier this year but haven’t finished yet. I’ll probably go for Girl in Glass by Deanna Fei.

4. Spend at least one week-end at my new home. I’ll most likely have no difficulty reaching this goal, as we’ll have to hand in the key to our old apartment on the 18th.

5. Buy my husband and father their birhtday presents. My husband had his birthday in mid-November, but he wants a tree for in our garden. I really do hope we can still plant it. My father has his birthday in mid-January, but I want to be early.

6. Not end up in crisis. December is one of the hardest months of the year for me, because the staff are often busy with holiday preparations and stuff and the whole unit is decorated and furniture moved. I have been in crisis each December since being on this unit. Since my medication can’t be increased any, as it was last year and in 2013, I just hope I won’t end up in crisis.

I really do hope I’ll be able to enjoy the holidays some, but that’s going to be hard. I am already thinking of what to buy myself for the holidays (or for any occasion). Last week, I bought myself some products from The Body Shop and I won’t promise there will be no more spending on gifts for myself this month.

Change Is Inevitable: Your Attitude Towards Growth

Handling change is hard for me. I don’t like transitions, as they bring about a lot of uncertainty and therefore stress. I’d rather stay in my comfort zone and live my life as if the world weren’t changing arund me. That’s not realistic, however. I grow older with each passing day, even if I only realize it on my birthday or on January 1. Change is inevitable.

Growth is intentional. Many people make annual goals to make sure they do not just change, but grow as well. If you are anything like me, you are more interested in the process of writing about your goals than the process of meeting them. If you are antyhing like me, after all, you’re better at writing than at overcoming big challenges like overeating or mental health probems.

It can be overwhelming looking back at your annual or even monthly goals and seeing how few you’ve met, especially if you’re a pessimist. It is much more helpful in that sense to look at each day as it comes, appreciating the growth you’ve made that particular day. I may not have lost ten to twenty pounds yet and most likely will not lose them this year either, but each day without bingeing is a good day in the eating disorder department.

When you look at the future, like I said yesterday, you can have an attitude of hope or one of fear. When you look back at the past, the same is true: you can be appreciative or disappointed. When you do look back at your annual or monthly goals, you can have an attitude of appreciation for the goals you did meet or one of disappointment over those you didn’t. For example, I could focus on the weight loss and eating disorder recovery goals I did not meet (yet!), or I could focus on my blogging and writing goals. In these areas, I far exceeded my expectations.

Not only does growth help you reach your goals and thereby help you be more appreciative, but the reverse is also true. If you look back on your goals and decide you didn’t meet some, it is easy to allow your motivation to go down the drain and retreat into your comfort zone. When, however, you look back at your goals and see you met some, you feel more motivated to continue striving to meet your future goals. Like I said yesterday about passing or not failing Latin, having met some goals and having not met some goals, is essentially the same. It’s your attitude that makes the difference.

mumturnedmom
Everyday Gyaan
A Fresh Start

 

Those First Five Pounds

As regular readers of this blog will know, I am quite overweight. In fact, I need to lose about 30lbs to be at a healthy BMI. Thankfully, I haven’t gained any weight in the past eighteen months, but I haven’t lost any either.

One of this week’s prompts over at Mama’s Losin’ It asks me what is sabotaging my plans of losing five pounds. Though five pounds isn’t even enough to get my BMI under 30, every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. So what’s keeping me from losing those first few pounds?

Let me for once not go into the details of my disordered eating habits. I have written many times abut my tendency towards emotional eating and bingeing, but this does not seem to be the only factor keeping me from dropping those first five pounds. Of course, weihgt loss requires self-control, and this is exactly what I lack during a bingeing episode. However, doesn’t everyone have times when they lose control over themselves? Also, I’ve not binged in a few weeks and yet haven’t lost any weight. Could it not be the simple habit of eating too much over an extended period of time and not getting my butt off the chair that is truly keeping me from losing any weight?

I don’t check food labels when I get something to eat. I don’t count calories. Now I’m not advocating obsessing over calories, but some awareness is essential for weight loss. I habitually think that foods are less calorie-rich than they actually are. This doesn’t just go for binge foods like candy, where I can easily exceed 2000 calories in one binge. I was shocked one day when my husband and I went to McDonald’s for lunch and I had downed 1000 calories with what I considered a small meal. Like, a burger, small serving of fries and a small milkshake. Yes, I do know milkshakes are not healthy, but I seriously didn’t know they were that high on calories. My husband warned me that I shouldn’t eat 1000 extra calories everyday or I’d gain over 100lbs in a year. The truth is, I probably exceed the number of calories I burn by at least 500 almost everyday.

I also don’t exercise nearly enough. I get fitness-focused physical therapy once a week and go to the gym once a week for 45 minutes. That’s not enough. In addition, I should be going on the elliptical or stationary bike at least twice during the week. I did this faithfully for a while, but have been too lazy to do this lately. I do go for walks, but not as often as most people do.

Now that I review this post, it’s a miracle I am not over 200lbs already. I went to the gym this morning, so I’m not sure it’s healthy to go on the elliptical now. Then again, I didn’t disclose how much I ate today and am not going to go into detail on it either (hint: 720 calories for lunch). It’s too bad writing about weight loss won’t get me to drop those extra pounds.

Mama’s Losin’ It