Tag Archives: #WeekendCoffeeShare

#WeekendCoffeeShare for June 16, 2018

I have seriously been meaning to write more and have had a few ideas floating around my head. Someohow though I could never find the energy or motivation to actually sit down and write a post. This week, a lot happened, so it’s about time I join in Alli’s #WeekendCoffeeShare again.

If we were having coffee, first I’d tell you all about the visit to a few possible new day activities places last Monday. There were four places that I would be visiting: a day center like the one I go to now, an industrial workshop, an arts place and a farm. The care consultant explained about each place and said the farm was pretty large and low-support, so I would most likely not be able to do much there. I don’t like industrial work, so I turned that one down too. The arts place, we did visit, but it didn’t turn out to be suitable. They mostly do textile arts, painting and drawing there, none of which I can do. They also do ceramics, which I can do but don’t usually like. It was also rather crowded and noisy there.

The day center consists of four groups, two of which are relatively high-support. I was shown around these two groups. The first one, which is the highest-support one, seemed really suitable. They have arund a 1:5 staff/client ratio, which is similar to my current group and is doable for me. The group seemed a little more structured than my current group. They go for walks regularly. They also have a garden with some swings and a rocking lounger. The center has a sensory room near this group. I spoke to one of the staff for this group, who happened to have seen me at the horseback riding school a few times. You see, some people from this day center go horseback riding there too. They also go swimming every other Tuesday. I assume this is only for peoople for whom a volunteer buddy can be found, but I hope that should I transfer here, I can do this too.

I was up front about the fact that I could have meltdowns if my irritability isn’t acknowledged and dealt with on time. I think though that if I transfer here, the consultant from the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) can help us figure out a good support plan.

We also visited the other group, where people do mostly table-based activities. This group was a little more crowded and lower-support and I like walking and sensory activities more than table-based tasks. I ultimately chose to try out at the first group. On June 25 and 26, I’ll be spending the mornings there. We’ll be evaluating this on the 26th. I have decided to wait to potentially transfer till we’ve spoken to the CCE consultant on July 31.

I can’t convey through writing how excited I am about this possible new opportunity. I really hope it works out. Transportation may be an issue, but I have my hopes up that this will be sorted out.

Next, I’d be sharing about my next session of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) with my nurse practitioner. It was good. We discussed rational, emotional and wise mind. Wise mind is like intuition, the integration of emotion and reason. One of the goals of DBT is to get into wise mind more often.

Last week, I had called the on-duty nurse at the psychiatric unit because I was close to a crisis due to feeling very lonely. I had initially felt really bad about having called, because loneliness is a common reason for me to land in near-crisis and need to call them. My nurse practitioner validated me, saying I don’t have their phone number for no reason.

If we were having coffee, I’d share about my weight loss this past week. I lost 1.5kg in just over a week. Now this evening we went to an all-you-can-eat restaurant, so I’ve probably gained it back, but I’ll lose it again soon enough. I also met the recommended daily step goal (10,000 steps) again on Wednesday.

What have you been up to lately?

#WeekendCoffeeShare for June 3, 2018

Welcome to this week’s #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m a little late this week, as yesterday my husband and I spent most of the day at my in-laws and I didn’t have my computer or external keyboard for my phone with me, so I could barely type. So grab a cup of your favorite drink and sit with me as I write about this week. I’ll have a cup of green tea instead of coffee even though it isn’t terribly late here yet.

On Saturday last week, I finally went onto the scale again. I hadn’t weighed myself in a few weeks. As I feared, I had gained weight, but even more than I expected. I’d gained 2kg. I was so angry with myself. I mean, yes, we’d eaten pizza three evenings that week, but that couldn’t possibly explain such a huge weight gain. My husband tried to reassure me, saying I was probably constipated. This may be so, as the next day I’d gained another 800 grams. Tomorrow marks one year since the start of my weight loss journey and I’m afraid I will not reach my goal of having a BMI under 30. Then again, last January, I did reach this goal already and stayed at that weight all through early May.

On Sunday evening, the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) coordinator E-mailed me and my support coordinator. As we’d had the meeting with her on the 15th of May, she’d planned on discussing my case on the following Monday but hadn’t realized this was a bank holiday. She had eventually discussed me with her colleague and had decided to ask a consultant to focus assessment on my needs and wishes rather than on a diagnosis. On Tuesday, she E-mailed us again to let us know she’d found a suitable consultant and we’d be contacted again to set an appointment for a first meeting.

My support coordinator had also inquired about getting long-term care funding for me. Whether this is possible, depends on whether my blindness is the primary reason for my care or my mental health or autism. If it’s blindness, I may get long-term care funding, whereas if it’s autism or mental illness, I definitely won’t. Long-term care funding would enable me to move to supported housing for the disabled or get more support while living with my husband.

On Thursday, I had my first session of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) with my new nurse practitioner. DBT was originally developed for treating people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It’s usually group therapy. Though I do have BPD traits, I’m also autistic, which means that group therapy would be hard for me. I therefore do the DBT individually. I had already started DBT with my community psychiatric nurse, who left recently. My nurse practitioner, who took over from her, proposed to start at the beginning of the therapy manual again. We only managed to work through the first page, which details the goals of DBT. There are four skills domains on which I’ll work: mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness and distress tolerance.

I also realized as I was talking to my nurse practtitioner how angry I still am at the psychologist from the institution who kicked me out almost with no after care last year. My nurse practitioner did the intake interview for this team with me last year and mentioned how he and the psychiatrist got a totally different impression of me than said psychologist had painted. The psychologist had diagnosed me with dependent personality disorder for claiming care I supposedly didn’t need. She removed my autism diagnosis. The nurse practitioner and psychiatrist saw pretty soon that I’m not dependent at all. Yes, I need a lot of support, but that’s due to my disabilities (including autism), not low self-esteem. In fact, I just realized how this psychologist had in fact broken my self-determination. I don’t feel safe to ask for help much now and am a lot more passive than I was when I had this dependency diagnosis. My nurse practitioner validated my feelings, in fact saying that the reason for the CCE involvement is in part the poor after care this psychologist had arranged for.

On Friday, I went adaptive horseback riding again. Angie, my horse, was scared of a car passing by and attempted to go on the run while I sat on her back. This was terrifying. Thankfully, I managed to keep seated on her back. She was quickly calmed down again, but I was shocked for a bit aftwards. So was the girl who held the horse. Thanfkully, the instructor always walks beside my horse because of my blindness, so the girl wasn’t on her own. I still had fun horseback riding.

I’ve yet to think of what I want for my birthday at the end of the month. I will have to look at sensory toy shops for inspiration. I’m also thinking of starting up the soap making craft again, so maybe I’ll ask for supplies for that.

What have you all been up to this past week?

#WeekendCoffeeShare for May 26, 2018

Today, I’m linking up with Ali’s #WeekendCoffeeShare. The idea behind #WeekendCoffeeShare is to catch up on how your week has been. It’s a good way to share how you’ve been doing without having to devote a separate blog post to everything you’re up to. So sit back and grab a cup of your favorite drink (it’s rather late for coffee here).

The week started off rather relaxed with Monday being a holiday because of it being the day after Pentecost. That being said, I don’t really like days off, as I tend to sleep away the day anyway and feel bored when I’m awake. I’d have rather gone to day activities.

When I came to day activities again on Tuesday, I was a little anxious. There’s a family day at the center next week. Originally, my mother-in-law would be attending, but given the fact that I’m being kicked out of this center anyway, I feel it’d be useless. Besides, I have an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner for dialectical behavior therapy that afternoon. I just told a white lie by omission and said my appointment was the reason I and my mother-in-law won’t be there.

On Wednesday, I had an okay day. My home support coordinator came by. She’d visit me on Thursday too, as my regular home support worker couldn’t come. I may get another support worker in her place, as she has a rather heavy workload. My mother-in-law also took me on some errands.

I found out on Thursday that things might not be as hopeless on the day activities front as I thought them to be. My support coordinator had contacted a day activities farm about 25km from my house. Farming isn’t my ideal sort of day activities, but I’m willing to go take a look there. The coordinator for that place had referred her to another person for placement inquiries. This placement person said they have three other day activities places in that area, all roughly 20-25km from my home. This is quite a bit farther off than the 15km to my current day activities (which is already relatively far), so transportation may be an issue. However, I’m sure my support coordinator will find a solution to this. I’ll be going to visit all four places on June 11. There is the farm, which was said to be good for those seeking experience-based activities too, so you’re not necessarily required to work hard. Then there’s an industrial place (but the placement person said not to worry about pressure), an artsy place with a shop and a day center similar to the one I attend now.

I am feeling slightly optimistic about one of these places possibly being a good fit for me. I actually am thinking of mentioning my experience with soap and skin care product making in hopes that I can get the support to pick up that hobby again, either at the artsy place or the day center.

Yesterday I went to the adaptive riding school for horseback riding. Everyone in my class was more noisy than usual and I experienced a bit of overload. Nonetheless, I enjoyed riding my current horse, Angie.

Today, my husband and I went to my in-laws to spend the afternoon and part of the evening. My in-laws have a pretty large house in the countryside. They have horses there. I helped brush one of my mother-in-law’s horses, Remco. We also ate homemade pizza. One half of each of our pizzas had a cauliflower crust. I actually liked it better than the regular crust.

What have you been up to this past week?