Tag Archives: Neuropsychology

#DearSoandSo: Psychological Evaluations

Dear evaluating psychologist,

You don’t know me yet. Soon, you’ll know me as the blind, autistic person who was born prematurely. Then, you’ll hopefully get to now me as Astrid. I was referred to you by the autism center’s consultation team for neuropsychological and intelligence testing.

You need to know that I am a survivor of psychological trauma. I won’t disclose any details, but it’s important that you know that psychological evaluations are a big trigger for me. They are very intimidating. As a result, I might dissociate and put on a mask, which might influence my performance.

I ddon’t know how exactly to prevent myself from dissociating or putting on a mask. I also don’t know for sure what you can do to help me. However, I would suggest you refrain from making assumptions about my performance prior to or during testing. I will try to remember that I’m still me with my abilities and difficulties, regardless of the outcome of testing. However, this is hard to remember.

I hope that the testing experience will be as stress-free as possibe. Thank you for any help you may be able to provide.

Kind regards,

Astrid

I went to the country’s top notch autism center, which happens to be in my town, yesterday. They thankfully believe I’m on the spectrum and don’t see a need to re-evaluate me. They however recommended intelligence and neuropsychologcal testing to find out why I function at a much lower level than my verbal ability would suggest.

They also recommended a sensory processing evaluation. I have suspected I have sensory processing issues for a long while, but now that I think on it, I may ask specifically about auditory processing. I used to be seen as an auditory learner (probably because my tactile skills were worse), but I still have a lot of difficulty understanding speech when there’s background noise. I also tend to process speech with some delay it seems. For example, I’ll say “What?” and then realize I did hear what was being said. Some people in the sensory processing disorder community said that auditory procesisng is different from sensory integration, so I’ll have to ask specifically about this.

Lastly, they recommended a support worker come to visit me at home and in the institution to establish my independence and support needs. Then, they could help me develop greater independence skills.

Dear So and So at Mummy from the Heart

Finding Answers in Disability Limbo

A few months ago, I wrote a post about my need to belong somewhere within the disability community and my possibly intruding upon communities I don’t belong to. One such community is that for brain injury patients. As far as I was concerned, “brain injury” was always followed by “sustained after birth” or preceded by “traumatic” or “acquired”. Yet brain injury can occur at birth too. Only then it’s not called brain injury, right?

Since my autism diagnosis is being questioned again, I’m feeling an increased need to figure out what exactly is wrong with me. In part, this entails putting a name to what I have. Are my motor deficits diagnosable as dyspraxia, mild cerebral palsy, or are they not diagnosable at all? Am I autistic or not? Then again, putting a name to my disabilities is but one of my quests. As I’ve experienced, most communities are open to those with an uncertain diagnosis, so it’s not that I need to have a diagnosis to fit in with a support group.

Back when I was diagnosed with autism, I didn’t want a specific ASD diagnosis. The psychologist, who ultimately gave me an Asperger’s diagnosis anyway, said he wanted to do an assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. I don’t know whether a quick DSM-IV interview amounts to that, but to me, a lot of questions remain unanswered.

It could be my slight neuropsychology obsession, but I want to know why I have issues I do have. I want to understand, in a way, why I can’t function at the level I’m supposed to given my intelligence and verbal abilities. Is it normal to be unable to load the dishwasher but able to write a lengthy blog post? I don’t think a diagnosis, whether it’s autism or brain injury, will answer this question per se, but what will? It is most likely that I have quite bad executive dysfunction, but can this at all be validated? Should it?

It isn’t purely that I’m overanalytical and want to understand my every bit of brain function. It’s more that I’m struggling terribly with being seen as more “high-functioning” than I am in daily life. Not that I want to reinforce the stereotypes surrounding the Asperger’s diagnosis, but my mere existence won’t defeat them either, and I’m sick and tired of having to prove myself.