Tag Archives: Memoirs

Book Review: The Hospital by Barbara O’Hare

A few weeks ago, I heard about The Hospital by Barbara O’Hare in a foster care and inspirational memoir group on Facebook. I decided to check it out and it sounded great. Having been in a psychiatric hospital myself and having endured some controversial treatment there, somehow I was drawn to this book. Maybe it’s because I want to be reassured that it could’ve been worse. I don’t know.

Synopsis

“Nobody knew what was going on behind those doors. We were human toys. Just a piece of meat for someone to play with.”

Barbara O’Hare was just 12 when she was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, Aston Hall, in 1971. From a troubled home, she’d hoped she would find sanctuary there. But within hours, Barbara was tied down, drugged with sodium amytal – a truth-telling drug – and then abused by its head physician, Dr Kenneth Milner.

The terrifying drug experimentation and relentless abuse that lasted throughout her stay damaged her for life. But somehow, Barbara clung on to her inner strength and eventually found herself leading a campaign to demand answers for potentially hundreds of victims.

A shocking account of how vulnerable children were preyed upon by the doctor entrusted with their care, and why it must never happen again.

My Review

The story begins with Barbara’s early childhood memories of being abused by her Dad and step-Mom because of being a “dirty tinker”. The abuse unfortunately only continues oce Barbara is cared for by Edna, a woman renting her father’s house while he’s working off-shore. Barbara from there ends in a children’s home, where she tries to run away, so she’s placed in The Cedars, a locked children’s facility.

There, Dr. Milner meets her and tricks her into going into Aston Hall. Once there, she’s tied down, drugged and abused regularly throughout her eight-months-long stay. Barbara discovers that the other girls on her ward share two things with her: most come from The Cedars and all don’t know their biological mothers. What struck me as interesting was the dynamic between the girls while not in “treatment”. They were pretty typical girls, forming cliques and friendships and bullying one another.

When Barbara is on leave with her father and yet another of his girlfriends, she confides in them and they decide to get her out. They get Barbara into an approved boarding school, which is a lot better than the hospital but still very strict. Barbara yearns to meet her biological mother and tries to escape the school to find her. Her father than moves her to a girls’ hostel, where she is free to go as she pleases. She eventually goes on a search for her mother, which ends in disappointment.

I must say that it’s not too clear throughout the book how the hospital affects Barbara long-term. She does explain in a chapter about her ongoing PTSD symptoms and risk-taking behavior (possible dysregulation from complex PTSD).

Most people in the Facebook group said that they didn’t like the ending of the book. I had no problem with it though. I mean, I didn’t feel Barbara’s appreciation of her father was all that warranted given his early abuse of her, but then again he did get her to escape Aston Hall.

Overall, I really loved the book. It was a pretty fast-paced read and I finished it within a few days.

Rating: five out of five stars.

Book Details

Title: The Hospital: How I Survived the Secret Child Experiments at Aston Hall
Author: Barbara O’Hare
Publisher: Blink Publishing
Publication Date: Feburary 9, 2017

Book Review: Cruel to Be Kind by Cathy Glass

A few weeks ago, I found out about a new Cathy Glass book on an E-mail list I’m part of. Most of the members of the list are big Cathy Glass fans, but I’d never read a book by her. I badly wanted to. Cruel to Be Kind is Glass’ latest foster care memoir. I finished reading it on Saturday. Here is my review. It contains slight spoilers.

Synopsis

Cruel To Be Kind is the true story of Max, aged 6. He is fostered by Cathy while his mother is in hospital with complications from type 2 diabetes. Fostering Max gets off to a bad start when his mother, Caz, complains and threatens Cathy even before Max has moved in. Cathy and her family are shocked when they first meet Max. But his social worker isn’t the only one in denial; his whole family are too.

My Review

It wasn’t clear to me from the synopsis what it is that shocks Cathy about Max. I need to disclose it to make this review at all meaningful, hence my spoiler alert. The shocking fact is that Max is morbidly obese. Whether childhood obesity is a form of child abuse, is a controversial issue at least in the Netherlands. As an obese person myself, I was at first a little like “What’s the problem?”. Clearly this is me still not being fully accepting of the health risks of my own obesity. Max though is not just obese – he weighs twice as much as he should at his young age.

As is said in the synopsis, Max’s family and social worker are in denial. His mother and sisters are all morbidly obese too and, even though Max’s mother Caz has type 2 diabetes, she at first refuses to admit Max needs to lose weight.

I at first thought this would be a rather boring story, but it isn’t. In fact, it has many layers. I really got to know Max, Caz and Max’s sisters as they struggle with the generational curse of child abuse and domestic violence. I loved how Cathy attempts to portray most people she interacted with as humans with their strengths and weaknesses. For example, at first Caz was portrayed like a demanding, hostile feeder. In the end, she warms up to Cathy and discloses the dark secrets behind her overeating.

Overall, I really liked this book and it totally has me hungry for similar books. The only thing I really didn’t like about the book, is its title. Max at the end uses the phrase that you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes as an expression of gratitude for Cathy’s having put him on a diet. This phrase and the use of the words “tough love” in the same statement, did trigger me a bit.

Book Details

Title: Cruel to Be Kind: Saying No Can Save a Child’s Life
Author: Cathy Glass
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication Date: September 2017

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