Tag Archives: Imagination

What I Like About Myself

One of the June prompts over at The SITS Girls asks about a favorite thing about yourself. My husband occasionally jokes that my being a blogger makes me slightly narcissistic, so I’m going to exploit this prompt and list not just one thing I like about myself, but several.

I am going to start with physical features. Beauty is on the inside, but it’s good if you have something you like about your appearance too. I used to hate my body. Now most features are mostly neutral to me. I know I’m quite overweight, and I dislike that, but I don’t hate it. That’s a good thing.

Two features I like about myself are my hair and my eyes. I particularly like my hair since I had it cut and it’s somewhat wavy again. I don’t like short hair, never did. In fact, my mother used to push me about getting my hair cut short when I was young. I didn’t give in. Currently, I have my hair to about shoulder length. My hair is dark brown, although my father keeps calling it dark blond.

My eyes are a kind of greenish blue I’m told. I was never able to see my own eye color, but from my concept of color, I like this. I had a huge cataract removed from my left eye in 2013. Though the surgery wasn’t a success in terms of regained vision, the doctor commented that it did lead to aesthetic improvement.

Now that I think on it, I realize the features that I like are both features that my parents have made negative comments on. The hair wars were in fact much worse than the few words I used above can describe. Regardign my eyes, when I went to the eye doctor for an unrelated reason in 2004, shortly after the cataract had been discovered, my father asked the doctor whether aesthetics could be a reason to get the cataract removed.

With regard to personality features, I don’t like the one aspect my parents are over the top proud of: my intelligence. Conversely, I consider myself quite imaginative and creative, though I know that most people don’t share this opinion. Lastly, I like my determination, and again it’s a trait that most people say I don’t possess. That’s quite interesting.

Expressing Myself

Today the Daily Post’s prompt is Express Yourself. I find this a fascinating prompt, and could write on and on about expressiveness and the way I express myself. I write, mostly. Writing has been a hobby of mine since elementary school. Back then, I wrote mostly fiction. I have a few kind of weird tales and a lot of autobiographical fiction. Unfortunatley, as I got older, my skill didn’t get better, so by age eighteen or so, I quit fiction writing.

I trid poetry for a while. Last Thursday during art therapy, the therapist asked whether I wrote poetry and whether she could read one of my poems. They’re not great. In fact, with the exception of a few recent ones, my poems lack metre or rhyme. My older poems are so bad that I’m actually sort of proud of the acrostic I wrote a few months ago.

In addition to writing, I craft. I have tried my hand at art journaling, but have not succeeded. My cards and jewelry are pretty down-to-earth in their design I’d say. In fact, I’m not sure I’m all that imaginative in any of my expressive modalities. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a rich imagination. I’m just finding it hard to express it.

One thing that holds me back is the fact that the more imaginative works aren’t necessaarily the more beautiful ones for me. As I said, my poems, which usually express my authentic feelings, lack metre or rhyme and are little more than emotional diarrhea jotted on paper. Not something I’d like to post on my blog. And something I’ve noticed lately, is that I have a very hard time not sharing something I create. I even have a hard time keeping a private journal and, not havng found a suitable desktop application for it, I ended up with a protected WordPress blog which I ended up giving a few people access to anyway. Maybe I need to relearn that some things belong to me and are not to be expressed to anyone outside of me.