Last week, I was going to choose “sick” or “flu” as my word of the week. I was, after all, sick with the flu. To be honest, I’ve never been this ill as far as I remember. It doesn’t say much, as I hardly ever get ill, but really, this was bad. I “only” ran a fever for four days, but the shortness of breath and exhaustion were a lot worse than the fever. Actually, when I ran a low-grade fever, I felt worse than when I ran a higher fever.
The fever went away last week Friday, but it took me the whole week-end plus Monday and Tuesday before I had enough energy to spend considerable time on the computer. I wrote a few short blog posts for my Dutch blog, but didn’t have much energy for a real post.
This week, my word for the week is “rest”, because that is what I’ve been doing most of the week. I did try to keep some sembleance of a circadian rythm, though today I slept in till 11:30 AM.
I am still a little hoarse and coughy, but the exhaustion seems to have gone back to pre-flu levels. That means it’s still there to an extent.
I found out last week that I had deficiencies in iron, vitamin B12 and vitamin D. I’m now taking iron tablets, getting vitamin D drops once a week and a shot of vitamin B12 twice a week. I hope that this will help me feel less fatigued. Today is the first day in several weeks that I’m not going to bed right after getting my night meds. Then again, I hope to get enough rest tonight anyway.
I went to the gastroenterologist last Wednesday, who said I may have irritable bowel syndrome. This diagnosis used to be pretty controversial. It ws only years ago that I heard a doctor on TV say that we used to sit through abdominal pain without complaining and now we take meds for our irritable bowels.
I thought of this when I read a post by Dawn Santos on needing permission to voice our pain. Dawn said she’d tell every normal person who’d complain like she wanted to, to seek counseling. Her post is meant to validate those with chronic pain conditions that they have the right to complain, but as a person who’s suffered from abdominal pain and other symptoms for years without having a diagnosis or often being visibly in pain, I want to say it doesn’t matter whether you are or appear normal.
I am not saying that chrnic pain is not worse than being in pain only every once in a while. What I do say is that the dichotomous line between healthy and ill is arbitrary. I recently read an interview with another doctor, who said he has some form of arthritis but considers himself pretty healthy. I on the other hand have considered myself somewhat ill for some years now, despite not having a diagnosis. I can see why my attitude is not as upbeat as his, and there are many factors to this. Pain levels may be one (I have no clue in how much pain this doctor is on a regular basis). Psychological factors like coping mechanisms, attribution style etc. contribute too.
You may not be able to see whether someone has a chronic pain condition or not. Besides, mental health problems are real problems, too, and Dawn’s comment about counseling made me feel that it’s merely a bad attitude. I want to say that no-one needs permission to voice their pain. Of course, it’s best if you stay somewhat positive and don’t complain all the time, but as an onlooker, you can’t see how much effort someone puts into getting through the day with some level of positivity. Therefore, this should not be a reason to judge someone’s complaining. Getting fed up with it sometimes is okay, but that’s true whether the other person has a (known) chronic pain condition or not.