Tag Archives: Health

Reasons I Want to Lose Weight

I am nearly three weeks into my weight loss journey. So far, I have managed to keep off the weight I lost in my first week, but haven’t lost any more weight. Next week is my birthday, which is too special an occasion for dieting. My parents and sister will be over this coming week-end, but I don’t hope that between this and my actual birthday, that will be three days of overeatig. I’m just hoping that I won’t gain any weight.

I fully intended to stick with the journaling challenge which my post last week was inspired by regularly. I did stick with the food journal, but other things got in the way of me journaling about my journey again. The second exercise in the 28-day weight control journaling challenge by Mari L. McCarthy asks me to list every reason I can think of why I want to lose weight. McCarthy recommends going beyond the obvious reasons and digging deeper into my motivation. I have been thinking all week and it’s proving harder than I expected. Today, I will attempt to do this exercse.

Health-Related Reasons

My health is the main reason I want to lose weight. I once watched an episode of Dr. G: Medical Examiner in which Dr. G examined the bodies of people who had died of the five most common avoidable causes of death in the United States. One of the bodies was of a young woman of my height who weighed 117kg. My first thought was: “So I’m not that bad.” Then again, that woman was dead. I am alive and would like to continue living for another five or six decades. Obesity was at the time the second most common avoidable cause of death after smoking. I am pretty sure it’s surpassed smoking now.

Here are the health-related reasons for me to lose weight.


  • I have high blood pressure, whch is linked to obesity. I want to prevent this hypertension from becoming chronic.

  • I snore. This not only wakes my husband. It also causes me to wake up unrefreshed. Snoring is bidirectionally related to obesity. I don’t stop breathing (yet), but I don’t want to get this far and ideally want to stop snoring entirely.

  • I want to increase my mobility, endurance, flexibility and general fitness.

  • I don’t want to become a type 2 diabetic.

  • Coronary heart disease runs in my family on both sides. I want to lower my risk of this.

  • I have back pain semi-regularly. This is in part due to scoliosis, but I’m pretty sure those 20kg of extra weight I carry don’t help.

Mental Health

Exercise and eating a balanced diet are not just good for your physical health, but mental health as well. I experience mild to moderate depression every once in a while. Though at the time I was most miserable in my life, I was at a healthy weight, my weight of course wasn’t the reason I was miserable. Besides, even though I felt miserable at the time, I didn’t feel as inert as I often do now. This could definitely be related to those extra pounds.

Then there is my self-image. I know that my body image and self-esteem aren’t magically going to increase if I lose weight and my husband still finds me attractive. However, I do feel that increased physical fitness will increase my sense of success.

Goals

So what are my weight loss goals? My ultimate goal is to be at a healthy BMI in 2 1/2 years. As I already said, in one year, I want to have dropped my first 10kg so that I’m no longer obese.

One month from now, I want to be able to work-out on the elliptical trainer for 25 minutes a day, five days a week. I also hope that by that time, I’ve heard from the adaptive horseback riding school I signed up for last week. Lastly, I hope to have dropped one kilogram.

Inspire me. What are your reasons for staying at or getting to a healthy weight?

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Ten Ways in Which I’m Blessed

This week was a tough one. I have been stressed almost constantly over a lot of things. For this reason, I’m extra happy to find out that Finish the Sentence Friday is about blessings this week. It’s supposed to be a joint linky with Tuesday Ten, but I can’t find the Tuesday Ten post on blessings. Maybe it’ll go live next Tuesday. However, let me write a list of ways in which I’m blessed anyway. I hope it’ll cheer me up. Here goes.


  • I have my husband. I’m so glad I met him nine years ago.

  • I have my home in the tiny village.

  • I have my family. My parents are still in good health and my grandma is still alive and relatively well for a 92-year-old too.

  • I have my cat Barry.

  • I don’t have to worry about money most of the time.

  • I am in okay physical health.

  • I have my computer, with which I can connect to the Internet and interact with mostly supportive people.

  • I can write and express myself creatively.

  • I have my faith. Even if no-one else loved me, God does.

  • I am alive. I am not always happy about this, but right now, I try to see it as a blessing.

It was a bit hard to write this list, but I’m so happy I got to do it. I hope you are blessed in many ways too.

A Day in the Life of My New, Healthy Self

I started in a whole health journaling challenge on April 1. Unfortunately, due to fatigue and depressed moods setting in this week, I’ve not been able to do much of it. I finished the third journaling exercise, which has me envisioning a day as my new, healthy self. It was quite inspiring. Here is what I wrote.

I get up in the morning at 7 or 8AM. I shower, get dressed and have a healthy breakfast of yoghurt with muesli or a breakfast smoothie. I take my medication and brush my teeth. I may go to day activities to do snoezelen, swimming or go for a walk. Day activities will help me find companionship. I go on the elliptical trainer in the morning while listening to upbeat music.

For lunch, I have some bread. I may have another smoothie or some fruit. In the afternoon, I journal and go on the Internet for blogging and reading blogs and Facebook. When I live with my husband or if I have WiFi while in the institution, I watch some old TV online. I may go for a walk. Most importantly, I don’t sleep in the afternoon.

I meditate or pray in the afternoon too and read my Bible. I do some yoga in the afternoon as well. Either this will be the sun salutation I learned from my activity staff or I will hopefully learn some new series of poses.</P

In the evening, I eat a healthy meal. While still in the institution, I try to eat a bit of everything served. (I obviusly do the same when my husband cooks, but he usually cooks meals I like.)

I don’t sleep in the evening either. Instead, I go online, read a magazine or book. I go to bed at 10PM. I brush my teeth again before bedtime.

As you can see, I’m not 100% sure whether I’ll achieve this new, healthy state of mine while still in the institution or once I live with my husband. INitially, after writing this entry, I was completely motivated to start right then and there. I wrote my entry in the afternoon, so I decided to try a bit of everything served for supper that day. I have been doing well in this department – the only thing I skipped this week were mashed potatoes. I also did well in having healthy breakfasts each day. I also went on the elliptical a few times, though not in the mornings.

However, I’ve not been doing well in the sleeping department. I slept during the day almost each day and some nights have been pretty much sleepless. I also still need to get into the habit of brushing my teeth twice a day. My spiritual self-care is a mixed bag: I did yoga and meditation a few times but didn’t read the Bible or pray.

My biggest hurdle so far is to get into a healthy circadian rhythm. I think getting myself out of bed may give me energy rather than the other way around, but I’m not 100% convinced. I need to try this at least.

Small Victories Sunday Linkup

Medical #WotW

It’s been a tough week, so I haven’t written much. I’ve had countless plans and ideas in my mind, among which restarting my Dutch blog (yes, again!), but my brain and body won’t fully cooperate. I did restart the Dutch blog, but I only republished an old post. Because I can’t really get my mind to work towards creating an original blog post, I’m just going with #WotW and share my word for the week. I’m a bit late, but I checked and the linky is still open.

My word of the week, not quite surprisingly, is: medical. I’ve had quite the week with medical visits, after all. On Monday, I had to be screened by an endoscopy nurse in preparation for the upper GI endoscopy, which was Friday. The screening was relatively easy-going. The only hurdle was that the nurse hadn’t gotten a referral letter, so he had no idea why I was supposed to get an endoscopy. I explained that i had heartburn and pain up my esophagus. “Ah, you have reflux.” I happen to know the term in English but had hardly heard of it in Dutch and thought it’s the same as heartburn. I got the idea that the nurse felt the endoscopy wasn’t necessary, but he didn’t say so. Not that it’s his job to decide on such matters anyway. The nurse did say that my being short of breath while lying down but not (too badly) during slight exertion could be due to the reflux.

On Friday I got the actual procedure. It was a breeze too. A nurse from the institution came with me since my husband was at work. She wasn’t allowed in the room when I got the endoscopy but that wasn’t a big problem. I was sedated under twilight anesthesia, where you’re conscious but not quite aware of what happens. I can’t remember a thing about the procedure itself, though I do remember being brought to recovery. In the bed next to me was a man who got the news that he might have cancer. That gave me a bit of anxiety, because I still wasn’t so sure nothing would be found on my endoscopy. As it turned out, the doctor was finished telling me the results within less than half a minute. Nothing was found and he’d send a letter to my GP. I’m glad that nothing was found, although it would’ve been better if something with an easy, targeted treatment had been found.

On Tuesday, I went to my GP again because I’ve been having terrible fatigue and what I have gotten to believe is some sort of brain fog. I didn’t mention the term brain fog but did describe what it’s like. The doctor sent me for bloodwork and is going to give me a physical examination next week. Even though I’ve been a little less exhausted over the past few days, I do hope something easily treatable will be found. As the doctor explained, fatigue usually has more than one cause. It could be I’m having some case of the winter blues, because I’ve been feeling more depressed lately too. Fatigue for me gets better and then worse but it’s never fully gone though. I have had vitamin and iron deficiencies in the past, so we’lll see whether these are acting up again.

The Reading Residence

Fifty Years From Now

In the future… This is this week’s prompt from Finish the Sentence Friday. The future could be next week or next month or next year or fifty years from now. As I am currently in a bit of an anxious mood regarding my physical health, I am more than aware of my finite existence here on earth. This however also got me to buy a book, really to distract myself but it ties in nicely with the theme, about women who survived breast cancer twenty to fifty years past diagnosis. (No, I don’t think I have breast cancer.) Even though I am not the healthiest person in the world, it is very well possible that I’ll live for fifty more years. For this post, I am going to pretend I am 79 and look back at my life.

It is currently 2066. I am 79. I have lived a much longer life than as a twentysomething I expected to. There have been many times I thought I wouldn’t live for another year. Yet here I am in old age.

I look back on a happy marriage with my husband. We have been living in our home in the tiny village for fifty years. When the housing corporation wanted to get rid of it and my husband earned enough money, we bought the house. It now has a bathtub, which was pretty much the only thing I wanted to get added to its interior fifty years ago. Of course, now that I’m old and my mobility is failing, I can’t use it anymore.

I look back on a nice volunteering career for myself. In fact, I still volunteer. I am a language-learning buddy for an immigrant, just like my grandma was when she was my age. I haven’t earned any sort of royal recognition, but that could be because I changed volunterring careers so often I can’t say I’ve served a particular community for long enough. nO, that was a joke. If I live for another twenty years, five months and twelve days, I’ll meet the mayor because of my 100th birthday. I do plan to live that long now that I got this far, just like my grandma did, only without the cognitive decline please.

Speaking of fame though, I did get some international recognition by publishing my memoir. It wasn’t titled Some Former Preemies Will Go to University after all, because that title was ironic, referring to my lack of successful college studies. As it turned out, I did earn a college degree. It was in language and cultural studies at the university I tried studying linguistics at too. The same professor still taught the intro to linguistics class that I had completed half of just before I ended up in the psychiatric hospital in 2007. Since I didn’t go to graduate school, my sister is still the only one of our generation to have earned a Master’s degree. I don’t care about that graduate degree though, as I mostly studied for the fun of it and to prove myself that I could. After graduating, I now regularly attend sit-in classes in education, psychology and sociology. My heart’s still with the social sciences, but I still can’t do statistics.

I just mentioned the psychiatric hospital. It’s a place I’d rather not revisit. Its treatment methods have “advanced” to a level worse than they were 100 years ago. Instead of getting a sembleance of care, psychiatric patients are just drugged into submission. We have better psychiatric drugs now, at least by the sane population’s standards. There are more of them too and much more people taking them, whether they want it or not. Unfortunately, the neurodiversity and mad pride movements are dead now. The curebies got their way. I can’t say society is a better place for it.

Technolgy has evolved quite a bit in the last fifty years, obviously. I can now easily take pictures with a camera that gives me spoken directions. Oh, this probably doesn’t sound that advanced to my 29-year-old self, but it opened quite the world to me. There are great imaging tools that work with screen readers now. Still doesn’t sound advanced, but I lost pace with technology several decades ago. Even though I was pretty tech savvy as a teen, I was quite a bit behind fifty years ago already, let alone now. Thankfully, I did learn to use a smartphone or I would’ve lost track much sooner than I did. My husband still keeps pace with technology, of course. He’s 77 now and “drives” an autonomous car. He didn’t like it at first, but now that he’s getting old himself, he finds it quite relaxing.

As I look back to 2016, I’m glad I made the choices I made that year. It took more than just 2016 to get physically healthy, but I did set my first steps in the right direction. I also finally left the psychiatric institution. As I said, it isn’t a nice place now, so I’m so glad I left before it deteriorated. Besides, if I hadn’t, I might not have lived this life with my husband.

A Letter to My Body

Dear body,

I am sorry. I have not been taking good care of you lately. I have not been exercising regularly, have been binge eating a lot and have slept at all the wrong moments and been awake at night.

Of course, I could blame my eating disorder and see it as something entirely separate from myself. I could blame the holiday season. I could blame the winter blues (or general blues, since I’m not sure if it’s seasonal at all) for my laziness regarding exercise, my increase in binge eating and my poor sleeping habits. Then again, that’d be avoiding my responsibility.

Sometimes, I feel as though you don’t deserve to be taken care of. I feel you’re ugly, fat and unheathy anyway. You’re fat, but at least my husband doesn’t consider you ugly and you could be a lot less healthy than you are.

Besides, right now I don’t have as poor an image of you as I had before. I like my skin feeling softer when I apply shower cream, then scrub it, then apply body butter. I particularly even like my belly, which is the part you seem to be storing most of your fat.

I want you to know there’s nothing you did to deserve me stuffing you with binge food and depriving you of the exercise and sleep you need. I’m stressed, but you didn’t cause me to be stressed. I’m slightly depressed, but you didn’t cause me to be depressed.

So I want to thank you for being relatively healthy while I don’t take as good care of you as I should. All your major functions (except for vision of course) are intact. You keep your vitamin and mineral levels okay. You haven’t developed diseases like diabetes or heart disease in spite of your obesity, caused by my lack of proper care. You are okay.

As I said, I could look at your negative attributes: your not being as fit as I’d like you to be, your causing me acid reflux, irritable bowel syndrome and random pains and aches. Then again, whether it’s you causing me these problems or me causing you these problems, could be debated. The thing is, I can’t change your functions without taking better care of you first.

As dialectical behavior therapy also teaches, I can’t change you witout accepting you as you are first. You are okay as you are. Now I can work on improving you.

Yours,
Astrid

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Mom's Small Victories

Those First Five Pounds

As regular readers of this blog will know, I am quite overweight. In fact, I need to lose about 30lbs to be at a healthy BMI. Thankfully, I haven’t gained any weight in the past eighteen months, but I haven’t lost any either.

One of this week’s prompts over at Mama’s Losin’ It asks me what is sabotaging my plans of losing five pounds. Though five pounds isn’t even enough to get my BMI under 30, every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. So what’s keeping me from losing those first few pounds?

Let me for once not go into the details of my disordered eating habits. I have written many times abut my tendency towards emotional eating and bingeing, but this does not seem to be the only factor keeping me from dropping those first five pounds. Of course, weihgt loss requires self-control, and this is exactly what I lack during a bingeing episode. However, doesn’t everyone have times when they lose control over themselves? Also, I’ve not binged in a few weeks and yet haven’t lost any weight. Could it not be the simple habit of eating too much over an extended period of time and not getting my butt off the chair that is truly keeping me from losing any weight?

I don’t check food labels when I get something to eat. I don’t count calories. Now I’m not advocating obsessing over calories, but some awareness is essential for weight loss. I habitually think that foods are less calorie-rich than they actually are. This doesn’t just go for binge foods like candy, where I can easily exceed 2000 calories in one binge. I was shocked one day when my husband and I went to McDonald’s for lunch and I had downed 1000 calories with what I considered a small meal. Like, a burger, small serving of fries and a small milkshake. Yes, I do know milkshakes are not healthy, but I seriously didn’t know they were that high on calories. My husband warned me that I shouldn’t eat 1000 extra calories everyday or I’d gain over 100lbs in a year. The truth is, I probably exceed the number of calories I burn by at least 500 almost everyday.

I also don’t exercise nearly enough. I get fitness-focused physical therapy once a week and go to the gym once a week for 45 minutes. That’s not enough. In addition, I should be going on the elliptical or stationary bike at least twice during the week. I did this faithfully for a while, but have been too lazy to do this lately. I do go for walks, but not as often as most people do.

Now that I review this post, it’s a miracle I am not over 200lbs already. I went to the gym this morning, so I’m not sure it’s healthy to go on the elliptical now. Then again, I didn’t disclose how much I ate today and am not going to go into detail on it either (hint: 720 calories for lunch). It’s too bad writing about weight loss won’t get me to drop those extra pounds.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Physical Effects of My Eating Disorder

The first journaling question in Journaling in Eating Disorder Recovery is about body image. The author asks you to journal about what your eating disorder is doing to your body. She also asks you to contemplate whether your body image is worth these effects.

My eating disorder mostly involves bingeing, which is good for neither my body nor my body image. After all, it not only causes me to be nauseated after a binge and get acid reflux (I believe this is also triggered by bingeing and not just by purging), but above all it has caused me to gain about 40lbs in a two-year period. As a result, I am now about 30lbs overweight. This of course results in poor body image, because, you know, I don’t just think I am fat.

I just googled the physical effects of bulimia, and some I find are related to bingeing. For example, people who binge get a bloated stomach and stomach pains. The bloated stomach causes it to take longer before you feel full. A severe binge can even lead to a ruptured stomach.

I also purge on a semi-regular basis. While I don’t purge nearly as often as some bulimics, I do vomit significantly more than people who are sick every now and again with a stomach bug. Purging can have the following effects:


  • Tooth decay.

  • Erosion of dental enamel.

  • Dehydration.

  • Irritation of the esophagus.

  • Sore throat.

  • Acid reflux.


I have many of these symptoms.

Of some symptoms I found, it isn’t stated whether bingeing, purging or laxative use causes them, but I have them whichever is the cause. For example, one source listed acne as a possible effect. I use to think I’m too old for acne, but nonetheless I do get an eruption when my eating disorder is particularly severe.

Effects that aren’t mentioned, are the long-term consequences of obesity. Think, for example, type 2 diabetes. I don’t know where he found this so can’t check the source, but my husband says that eating lots of sweets is now thought to actually lead to type 2 diabetes because of leading to a chronically elevated blood glucose level.

Is my body image worth these consequences? Of course, my body image is damaged by my being obese, but what if purging actually causes weight loss? Note in this sense that in my case it hasn’t led to weight loss, but just suppose it did. Then, still, I would have to say that health is more important than outer beauty.

I do, however, sometimes believe that purging can’t hurt while obesity can. In this sense, I weigh the health risks rather than the effects on my body image. Or do I?

After all, people’s encouraging obese people to lose weight for health reasons is generally coupled with a lot of shaming of people’s fat status. Even if other people don’t say so, I tend to think that I need to lose weight to be good enough. I still tend to think my husband doesn’t find me attractive even though he’s stated a few times that his reason for encouraging me to lose weight is my health. Other people, like some staff, do more clearly fat-shame. For example, we get metabolic screenings, including waist measurements, every six months to a year. At my last screening, the nurse took my measurements and then commented I really need to lose weight. So far it could still be interpreted as pure concern for my health, but another patient was next. She took this woman’s measurements and then commented to me: “See, it can get worse.” That really was an unnecessary comment that instilled shame rather than motivation to get healthy.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Fitness: Goal Setting and Getting Started #MDFitClub

Over at Mums’ Days, Hannah has launched the #MDFitClub. She writes all about motherhood and how it affects your health and fitness, but I believe I can join in too. After all, I have some health goals to work on too.

Back in January, I resolved to lose five to ten kilograms in 2015. That doesn’t seem to be a clear enough goal, because I keep thinking I could lose it all “later”. Though I’ve lost about two kilograms, that’s not nearly enough given how far along we are in 2015. My BMI is still over 30. Since the #MDFitClub runs for two months, I am resolving to get my BMI under 30 within these two months. That means losing about three kilograms.

Early this month, my fitness goal was to practise yoga at least three times a week. I have changed that to working out on the elliptical trainer or stationary bike, because these are more effective. I also started physical therapy last week, which is mainly for improving my physical condition. I did some working out there too, but I still agreed with the therapist to work out three times a week.

In the eating department, I’m doing relatively okay already. I have not completely eliminated binge eating, but have gotten it down to at most once a week. I do snack a lot though. I believe I shouldn’t be stressing out over the binges, since stress will make them worse. Then again, I do believe I need to stop snacking regularly. Otherwise, I won’t be losing any weight.

My purpose – my reason for wanting to achieve these goals – is my overall health. Though there is debate as to whether a BMI between 25 and 30 is unhealthy, everyone agrees that a BMI over 30 is. Besides, if I allow myself to have this BMI, there’s no clear-cut limit to weight gain. I really ultimately need to get my BMI under 25 (which means losing another twelve kilograms), but I know that’s not realistic within two months.

As a means of accountability, I will be writing regularly on how I’m doing with my goals. I am glad there’s a community of people participating in this challenge too. But I shouldn’t just talk, I should do the thing too. Now I’m therefore going to get onto that elliptical trainer. 🙂

50 Things That Make Me Happy #50Things

I love listing positives and things that make me happy. Therefore, I was so excited to see the 50 Things That Make Me Happy meme over at Mummy Tries. I wasn’t tagged for it and I am not going to tag anyone because I’m too lazy, so consider yourself tagged if you so wish. Listing 50 things that make me happy may be quite challenging already, but I’m going to give it a try.



  1. Daydreaming about living with my husband. Now that we’re trying to figure out how we can make this happen, I’m so excited.

  2. Coffee!

  3. herbal tea. Since writing this post, I have discovered a few new herbs that I like, such as St John’s wort.

  4. Going for a walk.

  5. Yoga. Unfortunately, I can’t get my instructional DVD working, but I still like what I still know about yoga.

  6. Journaling.

  7. Reading inspirational, helpful and positive books.

  8. Being moderately successful at my attempt at losing weight without much effort. All I basically do is keep from binge eating and exercise some.

  9. Snuggling with my cats. Barry isn’t too much of a snuggler and Harry is quite hyper, but I like them both.

  10. Facebook. I am a big Facebooker, mostly engaging with groups. I haven’t updated my blog’s FB page in forever, but that’s because pages don’t work that well on the (relatively accessible) mobile FB.

  11. Crafting. I haven’t done much of it lately, but since I got complimented on my work by my husband recently, I think of giving it a try again.

  12. Cooking at day activities. I can’t cook independently to save my life, but I can help.

  13. When the head nurse makes us French fries or pancakes.

  14. The fact that I’m getting somewhat fitter. A month ago, I couldn’t even walk to the grocery store without my breathing going fast. Yesterday, I walked for about an hour. I did get tired at the end, but it was rewarding.

  15. Art therapy. I don’t always look forward to it, particularly because it’s in the morning and I’m not a morning person. I do usually like it though.

  16. Music. I recently got a Spotify account and love listening to songs on it. I mostly enjoy country.

  17. Taking a bath or shower.

  18. Nice spring weather. We’ve had some pretty good days lately.

  19. Going to concerts with my family. I wasn’t able to go to Sarah McQuaid’s concert this year because I was ill with the flu. I hope to be able to go next year.

  20. Listening to children’s stories and songs.

  21. Essential oils. I love diffusing them in my AromaStream diffuser.

  22. Hot chocolate. I get a cup each week at art therapy.

  23. Getting some fruits and veggies and nuts out of my parents’ large garden when I visit.

  24. Gardening. I don’t do it often nowadays, but my art therapist offered to get me some herbs in a pot that I could grow.

  25. Shopping online or jus looking at all the lovely stuff I could buy but won’t.

  26. Sleep. My sleep/wake cycle is a bit off though.

  27. When my husband says he loves me.

  28. Planning for possibly going back to distance learning at Open University. It might not work out, but just the idea is nice.

  29. Blogging challenges and writing prompts. I love being able to participate in challenges like the A to Z Challenge, although it’s sometimes frustrating when I have lots of other things to write about.

  30. The singing of birds.

  31. Mindfulness exercises.

  32. Learning about natural health even when I can’t or won’t practise it.

  33. The fact that I have some more energy after starting on vitamin D and iron supplements (and vitamin B12 but that has been discontinued).

  34. Going to church. I don’t go nearly as often as I would like to, but I love it everytime I go.

  35. Reading devotionals and other spiritual writings. I lean towards progressive Christianity in my faith, but also derive meaning from many other traditions.

  36. Reading and writing poetry.

  37. The fact that I overcame most of my classic PTSD symptoms.

  38. Nurturing my inner child(ren).

  39. Having a much better relationship with my parents than I used to have.

  40. The fact that I’m a lot calmer generally and having much fewer meltdowns than I used to.

  41. Black liquorice. I haven’t bought it in a while because it is a binge food for me, but my husband has offered to help me divide it into portions. That way, I will be able to enjoy it in moderation.

  42. Receiving cards and small gifts from people from all over the world whom I’ve met online.

  43. Meeting online friends in real life. I recently traveled to Rotterdam to meet someone I’d known for twelve years but never met in real life.

  44. Hearing my parents tell stories about their life in the countryside. I really hope to live in a rural area someday too. This is weird, because I used to believe I wanted to live in the city.

  45. Going to my favorite restaurant with my husband. When I lived in my old institution, we went there often because it’s in that city. Now we treat ourselves to it on special occasions like our anniversary.

  46. All kinds of animals. I used to care for guinea pigs and rabbits at my old institution and go to a horse staple to care for a pony.

  47. Making my own smoothies.

  48. Long summmer evenings spent outdoors.

  49. My birthday. I used to dread it but now look forward to it.

  50. Putting on make-up – or rather, having someone else put make-up on me. I don’t get it done often, but when I do, I like it.

Wow, this was a little hard sometimes, but I am so much happier having written this list! It truly cheered me up. Have a nice week everyone!

You Baby Me Mummy
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