Tag Archives: Goals

Bucket List for 2017

It’s already January 9th. This means it’s a bit late for new year’s resolutions. I wrote about some dreams for the new year on my Dutch blog. The reason I called them dreams rather than resolutions is that I didn’t want to feel the pressure of having to actually keep them. I seem to like writing about my goals much more than actually pursuing them, after all. On my list of dreams was the mandatory weight loss goal that’s been sitting on my resolutions list for years. This year, I admitted that I mostly wrote it down out of a sense of obligation. I am just not that motivated for weight loss. In fact, yesterday I bought a bag of winegums and only shared them with my fellow patients because my husband threw around the risk of my developing diabetes. Now my blood sugar was in the low normal range last week when I had it measured, but still.

My most important goal, of course, is to get out of the freakn’ institution. Now my funding runs out at the end of the year anyway, so whether I’m ready or not I will be out then anyway. I can say that I’m finally feeling a bit ready though. It’s still hard, not knowing what sort of help I’ll get. Other than that I’m pretty much done with the institution, regardless of what my psychologist would like to believe.

Today, rather than repeating some general goals, I am going to write a bucket list of things I’d like to do in 2017. Here goes.

1. Learn to use an iPhone and buy one. I am waiting for the eye doctor who did my surgery in 2013 to write a referral for me to get iPhone use training at the blindness agency. Yes, it has to be an eye doctor referring you, which is stupid, since if you’re totally blind, what use is there in having an eye doc? I will either get this training at the residential home for elderly blind people in the institution town or at the blindness agency in the nearest big city, depending on whether I’m still in the institution once I can get started. Once I learn to use the iPhone, I want to buy one too. (By the way, iPhones are the most user-friendly smartphones for blind people, which is why I’d get training to use an iPhone.)

2. Learn to use Windows 10. I am pretty sure my computer isn’t going to survive 2017. This means getting a new one and that means learning to use Windows 10. Yes, I’ll still want a computer if I buy myself an iPhone, because smartphones cannot do everything PCs can and vice versa. I need to convince my new health insurance to fund a new version of JAWS, because my current one doesn’t work with Windows 10. I initially thought I’d switch to NVDA, a free screen reader, but it still has some major drawbacks.

3. Go swimming. My husband badly wants to go on vacation this year. I don’t care for vacation that much, but I’d love to swim in the sea. Alternatively, I want to finally go swimming at the pool again.

4. Choose and buy some more furniture for in my room at home. Currently, there’s just my desk and the remains of a cupboard. My husband wants me to get a bed in that room. I saw a nice bunk when we went to Ikea on Saturday, but it cost €280. I at least hope I’ll have a nicely-furnished room by the time I move out of the institution.

5. Leave the institution, for goodness’ sake. Need I explain?

What is on your 2017 bucket list?

My Achievements in 2016

The year 2016 is almost over and I feel pretty disappointed. It should’ve been the year in which I finally left the mental institution, but I didn’t. I mean, I’ve been resolving to leave the hospital every single year since 2008, but this time I thought I was so close. It’s even worse, because I get blamed for not having achieved this goal. My psychologist tells me I never want to leave and that I try every single trick to delay my discharge. This to her proves my dependent personalty disorder. Well, it wasn’t me who took four months to come up with that diagnosis. It wasn’t me who still hasn’t referred me to outpatient treatment and it wasn’t because for whatever reason I blocked this – I didn’t.

In many other ways, this year has been a disappointment. Still, I need to focus on the things that I did achieve in 2016. They may not feel important to me at this point, but that is only a matter of perspective.

1. I have not been in seclusion all year. I tend to think that, because I’m supposed to leave and there’s no seclusion outside of the institution, staff are less likely to ask me to go into seclusion. There is likely some truth to this, but I also have been acting out much less over the past year than I used to. It isn’t over yet – I broke a mug and self-injured only a few days ago. It’s better though.

2. My daily medication has been stable all year. I did finally get a prescription for a benzodiazepine to use at most twice a week as-needed. I hardly need it though.

3. I managed to binge eat less than I did last year. Though I resolved to get my BMI under 30 and this was a massive fail, my weight remained stable over the year.

4. We got an elliptical trainer at home. Though I didn’t use it as regularly as I’d have liked, I enjoyed exercsing when I did.

5. I found a craft that I enjoy. This is one of my biggest wins of 2016. Though I don’t make soap or skin care products as regularly as I intended to anymore, half a year in I still enjoy the craft. I also finally felt confident enough to make soaps and skin care products for other people. I never quite felt as self-confident about my other crafts. Recently, I experienced some setbacks, in that a few soaps I made over the past few weeks turned out worse than even my first soaps. However, I’m not about to give up (yet).

6. I didn’t give up blogging, even though I was tempted. I kept up one Dutch blog from early June until now, although December was a bad month. Consistent with more posts here, as always, my posting on there declined. I’m not about to give up eithehr blog though.

In short, my theme for 2016 has been “persevere”. I faced many setbacks and disappointments, but I didn’t give up. I hope that 2017 will be better than 2016, but if it isn’t, I hope I will keep on persevering.

You Baby Me Mummy

Currently – September 2016

Wow, summer flew by! Even though the weather is quite summerlike, unlike in July and most of August, it’s already September. I have several posts I would still like to write, but I am rather unmotivated for blogging here lately. It could be because my Dutch blog is three months old and it looks like this is going to be a keeper. I do like to write there, although I don’t write nearly as often as I used to write here. Anyway, because I’m not motivated for a proper blog post, I’d like to write a “Currently” post once again. Currently is hosted this time by Beth and of course Anne.

Reading

I’ve been reading a lot of books and not finishing any lately. I still didn’t finish Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult, which I started in June. I also started Still Alice by Lisa Genova then, but have been leaving that for so long that I recently started over.

A few days ago, I bought Do No Harm by Herny Marsh. It’s a book of stories from a neurosurgeon. There doesn’t seem to be anything about hydrocephalus or pediatric surgery in general in it. Still, it’s quite interesting.

Trying

Lotion making. I didn’t do much in the way of soap making lately, but on Tuesday, I tried once again to make a body lotion. It failed again, this time for completely different reasons than the last time (I guess that means I’m learning!). The whole lotion making thing sounds a bit more complicated than I initially thought it would be. However, as I watched a video tutorial on it that was recommended to me by some Dutch lotion makers yesterday, I was reassured that it also probably isn’t as complicated as some other people make it sound. For example, I forgot the heat and hold phase, which means you need to heat your oil and water phases separately to 70 degrees Celsius and keep them at that temperature for twenty minutes. Well, that doesn’t seem to need to be dome as precisely. We’ll see next time.

Hoping

To be more motivated and inspired to get things done. Like finishing those books I started, making soap and blogging. I now spend most of my time on Facebook or in bed. Would really like to get more productve.

Decorating

Nothing really. The last decorative soap I made was already two weeks ago. I have another one planned, but need to get the motivaiton to actually go about it.

To-Do Listing

I don’t have much on my to-do list at this moment, except for the things I already mentioned I’m hoping to accomplish. On Monday, I did finally cross off the routine medical exam I’d been delaying for months.

What are you currently up to?

Top Ten Plans for This Summer

It’s (almost) summertime. The weather has been quite good here lately. Particularly last week, the weather was lovely. This week, it’s getting slightly cooler and we’ve had some rain. However, the weather is still good enough to be outside in a T-shirt without a jacket. That’s one thing I love about spring and summer.

One of Mama’s Losin’ It’s prompts for this week is to share your top ten summer plans. I am really looking forward to this summer and I’d love to share my plans with you. Many are the same as last year’s, but unlike then, I did already make some of my plans happen.


  1. Go swimming. This is one of the items on last year’s bucke tlist that I couldn’t cross off then. This year, I’m participatng in a four-day swimming event this very week. I’m swimming only 100 meters each day, which is the shortest distance you could do. So far, I’ve completed two days of the event, that is really five days, already. You only need to complete four out of five days for the medal, but I plan on swimming each day.

  2. Have a barbecue. This is on last year’s list too. I didn’t think that I’d make this year’s barbecue on the institution unit, but now I think I will. It hasn’t been planned yet, but I heard the head nurse say she was going to get the DJ we have each year booked again.

  3. Sit in the garden. My home garden this time. I didn’t know last year of course that this year I’d have a real garden at home. The unit garden is also going to get remodeled soon.

  4. Eat strawberries, blackberries, blackcurrants, etc. I got raspberries from the market last week, but we don’t have them in the garden. The shrub my husband bought died before we could plant it. We do have many other berries, however. I don’t know how well they’ll do their first year, but I already ate a strawberry out of our garden last week.
  5. Go for walks. I walked form our old apartment to the institution a few times last year. This year, our walks have been in the tiny village. I hope to go to the woods sometime this summer too.

  6. Spend time with family. I’ve got to have an item on the list that I didn’t have last year. My sister and my parents are both coming over to our home next week (if my sister can get the day off) to celebrate my birthday.

  7. Eat the head nurse’s French fries and/or macaroni. There’s a nurse who lives in Turkey most of the year who comes over to work at our unit for the summers. It’s a tradition that she and the head nurse make macaroni from scratch once each year. It doesn’t sound that special, I know, but for people who normally get microwave meals everyday, it is. I’ve also heard the head nurse has plans for making us French fries on a Sunday in July. She makes fries about once a month, but usually on Saturdays, when I’m home.

  8. Wear my new dress. I already wore a skirt several times this year. I also bought two new dresses, one of which I already wore. I want to wear the other one too.

  9. Do lots of reading. This was one of the things I didn’t do enough of last year, even though I could. This year, it’s even easier, since I finally got a full Bookshare membership. I plan on reading a few books that I’ve wanted to read forever but never got down to buying as eBooks. Not that I couldn’t have bought them as eBooks, but I was planning on getting a Bookshare membership all along and so delayed getting the books. Reading books in DAISY format is still easier than reading eBooks. Of course, getting them from Bookshare, which is like a library for print disabled people, is cheaper too. I will review the books that I read here too.

  10. Write. I haven’t been blogging here as much as I’d like to this month or last month. After all, I’ve been feeling pretty uninspired. I hope to be inspired soon.


What are your plans for this summer?

Mama’s Losin’ It

Dear Transition

Like I said a few weeks ago, I bought the 22-day life transitions journaling workbook. I didn’t use it consistently, so I only finished the first day’s exercise and read the one for day two. It sounded particularly hard to me, but today, I’m trying to take up the challenge. The assignment is to write a letter to the transition in your life, in my case, the move out of the institution. You should be as honest as possible and can rant all you want. Then, let the transition respond. Here goes.

Dear transition,

Screw you, why do you have to happen? Why can’t things just stay the same. I know that’s not ideal, but that’s all I’ve known for the past 8 1/2 years. This institution life feels safe. Call me dependent all you want, I don’t care. I don’t know what happens when I leave the institutio. I fear I’ll fall flat on my face and not be able to cope.

Besides, I never planned on living independently again. I never learned to cope in a less restrictive environment, because that wasn’t the goal. Even since it’s been the goal that I live with my husband for the past 1 1/2 years, I still never learned to cope. I tried an afternoon at home here and there, but I still feel utterly overwhelmed when I’m at home for longer than a few days.

I don’t know what you expect of me anyway. My husband wants me to live with him, but I don’t even know wha the expects out of me. He probably expects me to take care of some housekeeping, which I haven’t done i years. Evernything else is uncertain too. I haven’t found day activities, haven’t been accepted by the mental health agency. I know you will happen – I will move in with my husband -, but I don’t even know when. So stop bothering me.

Astrid

Dear Astrid,

You sound angry at me. I’m sorry about that, because I never meant to piss you off. I am uncertain, I know, and I know that scares you. I know your control has been taken away by the psychologist, who decided seemingly arbitrarily that this is the point at which you need to stick to your decision. Then again, she’s right. You can’t waste your life away in the institution, and i know you don’t want to either. It may feel safe now, but safety isn’t all you need. You want to develop yourself, too.

Try to be confident that your treatment team will put a safety net in place should you not be able to cope. Try also to focus on the opportunities I will award you. I know you have so many dreams that you sometimes don’t even want to write about. I know that I won’t guarantee you that you’ll be able to make your dreams come true, but sitting on your butt in the institution certainly won’t make them come true. Try to stop dreaming and fearing and start living. Good luck.

Your transition

In Ten Years’ Time

I had the “kitchen table talk” yesterday. This is the official term for the meeting with your local social consultant to determine your need for services funded through the community support act. The meeting went well, though not much is clear. I’ll be eligible for supports, but I first need to go to the mental health agency near the tiny village to discuss my treatment there. After all, if I go into day treatment or assertive community treatment, part of the services from mental health will overlap with supports I’d be eligible for through the community support act. I’ll push my psychologist to get me an appointment with mental health as soon as possible. The consultant officially has to make a decision on community supports within six to eight weeks.

This has me looking ahead to my life with my husband. I hope to move in with my husband this summer. My mother-in-law had somehow gotten the idea that I’ll be leaving the institution in August, because she asked me how I felt about discharge. I have no clue where she got the idea that I’ll be discharged this August from, but I hope she’s right. After the kitchen table talk, I am somewhat more excited about leaving the institution than I was before. It’s still scary, but it’s a little less scary at least.

I was just looking at the 30-day recovery challenge from BelieveInRecovery.com. ONe of the challenges is to describe where you hope to be in ten years. I already wrote a letter to my future self in 2014. Today, I am going to take it a little easier and just fantasize about my life in ten years’ time.

Ten years ago, I resided in an independent living training home for the disabled. I had made the decision to postpone university till 2007, but had not yet found something to study for 2006. The idea that I am autistic had not been picked up by the staff yet. I was still, in other words, “just blind”. And miserable.

Now, ten years later, I’m not as miserable but still not very happy. I hope that in ten years, I’ll be more comfortable in my own skin than I am now. I obviously hope that I’ll have lost the almost 20kg that I’m overweight.

In the past ten years, if you look at the larger scheme of things, not much has changed. My parents at one point came to talk to my doctor at the locked unit and told him that I’d gone from the rehabilitation center for the blind to the training home and from the training home into a psychiatirc hospital. They overlooked the three months that I’d lived independently, but in the larger scheme of things, how much do these matter?

I hope to change more in the ten years to come than in the past ten years. However, I’m afraid to dream big now. I mean, in an ideal world, I’d go back to school and complete a program in counseling or psychology. Not to be an employed counselor, but just for the knowledge of it. I’d be doing volunteer work helping people navigate the social services field. I’ll have written and published my autobiography. Maybe I’ll do some freelance writing – if I can manage to learn to type properly. I had at least five typeos in that sentence.

One thing that changed within the past ten years and that I hope won’t change within the next ten years, is my relationship status. Ten years ago, I was single and clueless about relationships. Now, I’m still clueless but apparently doing an okay job at loving someone. I hope to still love and be loved by my husband ten years from now.

By This Time in Life…

Last week, the Finish the Sentence Friday prompt was: “I thought that by this time in life, I’d…” I discovered it on Thursday already but was busy all week-end traveling to my parents, being at their house and attending a concert and then traveling back. I can’t link up my post anymore, but that doesn’t keep me from writing about the topic.

I have written many posts about my dreams for my adult life. When I was a young teen, I dreamt that by the time I turned thirty, I’d have completed my Master’s degree, gotten a steady job as a high school teacher and become a Mom of three (technically four, because in my dreams one pregnancy would always be with twins). Obviously, this was before the economic meltdown, because I dreamt of being a teacher within a year of earning my Master’s degree. Interestingly, though obviously these three or four children had a Dad, I never imagined meeting the man of my dreams.

Obviously, these dreams were unrealistic, though I held onto some version of them till I landed in a psychiatric crisis and had to be hospitalized. It is once again strange that, even though I met my now husband before being hospitalized, I just thought I’d meet someone “someday” and was busier with thinking up my career than thinking up relationships.

Later on, I adjusted to the idea that I would never be a high school teacher, speech-language pathologist, or anything earning me money. I did enter a relationship and get married. Still, I had and to some degree still have a hard time fitting in that one success into my life story. I love my husband and am hopefully going to live with him this summer. Still, once I landed in a psychiatric crisis, I abandoned all my dreams and replaced them with the idea that I’d be in residential care for the rest of my life.

I seriously need to let go of this idea that, if my dreams of a college degree, a job and a child or four can’t come true, I can’t get any sort of meaningful life. Maybe I can’t have the life I imagined for myself. Maybe I won’t ever live in the United States – because that was another dream of mine. I can however have a life with my husband and our two cats in our nice home in the tiny village here in the Netherlands. I really need to work towards that goal.

Success

One of last year’s NaBlPoMo prompts for January challenges us to write about a time we were particularly successful at achieving your goals. Since I always made long lists of new yer’s and birthday goals each year, far too long to keep up with, I never succeeded at keeping my resolutions. That doesn’t mean I’ve never been successful. Today, I’m sharing some ways in which I’ve been successful in life.

1. Education. It may’ve been over ten years ago, but I am still proud of the fact that I earned a hig level high school diploma from a mainstream school. I am prouder now that I know most people don’t attach expectations of my current functioning to it. I mean, when I had just fallen apart in 2007, at every phone call to my family, if I wasn’t moaning about my crisis state, or even if I was, I’d be asked when I was going to find myself a job. Now that it’s pretty much known that I won’t find myself a job anytime soon, or most likely anytime, I can celebrate my successful education as the achievement it was. It shows that, deep down, I have some perseverance. Sometimes I credit my parents for this, but it was I who wrote in my journal, a month into high school, that I hated it but regardless I wanted to complete this level of education.

2. Blogging. I still have a blog post in the works about why blindness sucks sometimes, and one of the reasons is I can’t seem to compete on equal footing with sighted people in the visually-driven world of social media. The thing is, I am still a pretty successful blogger, because I’ve been able to keep up a blog for nearly 2 1/2 years now (and four years with my old one). I also get a fair bit of interaction from my blog. Most of all, I do what I love and I love what I do with regards to blogging. I don’t get more joy (or traffic) from posts that have pictures in them than from those that don’t. I think, in a sense, of course I am not a great blogger in the bigger scheme of things, but I’m much more successful now than I was with my old blog.

3. Relationships. I often credit my husband for our successful marriage, but of course, it comes from both direcitons. I can say that one of only a few borderline personality disorder traits I don’t have is disloyalty in relationships. It feels a bit narcissistic to chalk this up as a success, because ideally no-one is unfaithful. I could go on to chalk up the whole fact of my marriage as a success, but that sounds even worse. Then again, this whole post could be seen as a bit self-centered. Let me just say my husband is hugely successful at keeping me as his wife, too. Oh crap, that sounds horrible.

4. Little things in life. I remember once getting an assignment for reading comprehension in like fourth grade about a kid who was in regular education and his brother, a special ed kid with intellectual disabilities. It was said that this brother was successful if he tore a piece of paper. This is of course ahuge stereotype of people with intellectual disabilities, but I mean it to illustrate that success can be found in little things. Like my blogging success, my success in many other areas is relative. I can make coffee with some help. I can put my dry laundry into the closet. I can clean my desk if reminded of it. These could be seen as just as useless to a non-disabled person as tearing a piece of paper. So what?

In this category also fall the daily successes that people without disabilities should also be celebrating. For example, I spent fifteen minutes on the elliptical today and have been exercising four out of six days this year so far. Celebrating this daily success can help us stay focused on the positive and reach our long-term goals. What have you been successful at today?

New Year’s Resolutions for 2016 (Plus Looking Back at 2015)

Happy 2016! I just returned from spending new year’s at my parents’ and am quite tired. I had fun but also felt pretty easily overloaded while there, so much so that the turn of the year went by in a bit of a blur. So it’s 2016. I keep typing 2015, then when I try to correct myself I type 2017. It’s not because I don’t know what year it is, but simply that my fingers are not used to typing the year 2016 yet.

During 2015, I made new year’s resolutions at the start of the year and set monthly goals at various times of the year. I rarely followed through and hardly ever looked back. Today, however, I am going to look back at my 2015 new year’s goals and also discuss my goals for the new year.

1. Blogging. I resolved to blog at least twice a week in 2015. This was mostly a success. When illness or stress got in the way, I blogged less often, but when I felt well, I often blogged more. I also participated in two month-long blog challenges: #AtoZChallenge in April and #Write31Days in October. For 2016, I will continue to attempt to blog twice a week when physical and mental health permit it. I will give blog challenges some more thought, as they were fun in 2015 but not as rewarding as I’d imagined they’d be. I can’t wait to discover and connect with new bloggers this year.

There wasn’t a year that I started and dropped more blog-related projects than in 2015. I mostly messed with three or four versions of my Dutch blog, but also had the Recovery Bloggers Network running for a week or so when I got the flu and gave up. In 2016, I hope to give blog-related projects more thought before starting them and then giving up.

2. Writing. I resolved to journal more, possibly offline. This has not been a success. I tried several journaling solutions, including good ol’ Notepad, EverNote and various pieces of journaling software. However, the problem seemed to be I couldn’t make a commitment to journaling offline regularly. This may be because of my drive to overshare everything I create. I will give journaling some more priority in 2016, but it might just be online.

3. Crafting. I resolved to improve my polymer clay modeling skills and invest in an art journal. The art journal idea is still on my mind, but it’s been for several years and, like the offline journal, never got off the ground. I did work some more with polymer clay, but can’t say I quite improved. I learned a few bead-making skills, but didn’t really put a lot of effort into it. I also tried several other crafts, like loom knitting and crochet, but quit pretty soon. For 2016, I resolve to find a craft I can commit to practising regularly.

4. Reading. In 2015, I resolved to finish some books I’d started reading in 2014. This goal can be ticked off. I also resolved to focus my reading more on juvenile fiction and autobiographies rather than more academic non-fiction. This did indeed happen. For 2016, I hope to continue this trend.

5. Fitness. This was a massive fail. I resolved to lose five to ten kilograms but instead gained a few. I also resolved to lessen my binge eating, which I also failed at miserably. I did start exercising again, but not regularly enough. For 2016, I am still hoping I can lessen the binges. I plan to get into a more regular exercise routine. I hope to get my BMI under 30 at least, which requires me to lose about five kilograms.

6. Mental health. In 2015, I hoped to find a PRN medication or other way of averting crises that are inevitable. About a month ago, my psychiatrist said that my current PRN medication is the best choice for me, because the only thing that works better in most people are benzodiazepines. Since I have both personal and familial history of benzo addiction/dependence, my psychiatrist is not willing to put me on a benzodiazepine. I unfortunately have not been able to find any other strategies either, although it seems as though my crises have become significantly less frequent. For 2016, I’m just hoping I can stay relatively stable amidst the stress of moving in with my husband. I am resolving to get my crisis prevention plan updated for the home situation.

7. Housing. In 2015, I resolved to find out where I would be living after discharge from the institution. I have decided to go live with my husband, but I’ve not yet found out whether I’ll truly be able to make that transition. I am pretty sure that regardless I’ll be discharged this year, so I’m resolving to make the transition go smoothly.

8. Relationships. I didn’t have any real goals other than continuing to love and stay married to my husband. I’ll tick that off as a success, obviously and make the same resolution for 2016.

Mr and Mrs T Plus Three

December 2015 Goals

Wow, it’s December, the last month of 2015. Last Thursday, when my husband and I got the keys to our new home, we had to pay the rent for the rest of the year. It’s amazing and shocking at the same time how we have only less than 31 day sleft till the end of 2015. Today, I’m going to list some goals I have for this last month of the year.

1. Blog at least twice a week on each of my blogs. I have restarted my Dutch blog (again!), which means I now have to divide my blogging attention between two blogs. It’s not much if you see how many blogs I’ve created over the past years, but the fact is I’ve never kept up with more than two, so this is hard enough. I am terrible at dividing my attention, so I hope that this time it’ll be a success.

2. Not put on any weight. I’m not going to aim for weight loss in this festive month, because I know that’s just not going to happen. However, last week I was at the exact point weight wise I was last March, which was the heaviest I’ve been ever. It’s only a bit heavier than where i was in September of 2014, but it’s still significant that this is my heaviest weight. I just can’t keep on cutting mysef slack, because then my BMI will be over 40 in no time.

3. Finish at least one of the books I started reading earlier this year but haven’t finished yet. I’ll probably go for Girl in Glass by Deanna Fei.

4. Spend at least one week-end at my new home. I’ll most likely have no difficulty reaching this goal, as we’ll have to hand in the key to our old apartment on the 18th.

5. Buy my husband and father their birhtday presents. My husband had his birthday in mid-November, but he wants a tree for in our garden. I really do hope we can still plant it. My father has his birthday in mid-January, but I want to be early.

6. Not end up in crisis. December is one of the hardest months of the year for me, because the staff are often busy with holiday preparations and stuff and the whole unit is decorated and furniture moved. I have been in crisis each December since being on this unit. Since my medication can’t be increased any, as it was last year and in 2013, I just hope I won’t end up in crisis.

I really do hope I’ll be able to enjoy the holidays some, but that’s going to be hard. I am already thinking of what to buy myself for the holidays (or for any occasion). Last week, I bought myself some products from The Body Shop and I won’t promise there will be no more spending on gifts for myself this month.