Tag Archives: Counseling

Milestones in My Mental Health Recovery

This week #theprompt celebrates its 100th edition. I was guessing at the prompt for this week, as I often do, and this time, I was right: milestone. There are many milestones in one’s life. Birthdays, particularly important ones like eighteen or thirty. Graduations, be it from preschool, high school or college. Getting married, the birth of a child or grandchild, and the list goes on. When I thought of the word “milestone”, however, I thought of the milestones in my recovery from mental health problems. I am going to share them here. I include steps I’ve taken in my journey with autism here too.

1. Realizing I have a problem. In a way, I was always aware of my being different, but I didn’t realize there might be somethng really, clinically “wrong” with me till I was fifteen. Then I realized I may be autstic. Or something else. I quickly developed quite the obession with about half of the DSM-IV. Then, when I was seventeen, my parents talked me out of thinking I was autistic or otherwise anything other than blind and extremely intelligent and oh maybe a hypochondraic. Never mind that hypochondriasis is a real mental illness.

2. Admitting I need help. I first admitted this the day after I decided I might be autistic, so when I was still fifteen. Then again, I was too shy to tell my parents or my teacher or basically anyone that I really needed more than a teacher with a social skills checklist telling me all that I was lacking in terms of social skills. I remained too shy to directly ask for help for years. They were other people asking for help for me. First, it was the teachr with the social skills checklist calling the blindness rehabilitation center for me. Then it was my staff at independence training calling mental health services. Then it was the police calling the crisis service after I’d made a suicidal threat in public. I still have a problem asking for help directly.

3. Starting counseling. My first experience with counseling was at the blindness rehabilitation center I went to after high school. That wasn’t all that successful. Then, at the mental health agency where I was diagnosed with autism in 2007, I started sessions with a community psychiatric nurse. This was quite helpful. It was probably my most successful counseling experience so far.

4. Starting medication. I first started medication in the summer of 2007. That wasn’t a success. I hadn’t expected the psychiatrist I saw to suggest I go on an antipsychotic, because the nurse I mentioned above was suggesting a benzodiazepine on an as-needed basis. I did end up taking said antipsychotic, but stopped taking it again several months later. The second time I went on medication, another antipsychotic this time, I was extensively educated and got plenty of time to think it through and make a decision. I consciously decided I wanted this medication and it’s been a great help (with an antidepressant and several PRN meds added later on).

5. Checking myself into a mental hospital. Of course, it wasn’t literally that I checked myself in. I didn’t take the initiative to call the crisis service or my treatment provider, which I didn’t even have at the time. After all, I’d moved a few months prior and the new mental health agency was doing the diagnostic testing all over again. Nonetheless, I consider it a major milestone that I agreed to be admitted into the psychiatric hospital.

6. Moving to a resocialization unit. I spent sixteen months on a locked unit, largely because my meltdowns and emotional outbursts were too severe for any less restrictive unit to want me. Finally, however, the resocialization unit did want me after I half lied myself into being accepted. I think this was a major step, as I got much better care on the resocalization unit than on the locked unit. After spending over four years there, I moved to my current unit, which is also rehabilitaiton-oriented but doesn’t have as strict guidelines on how long you can be here. Not that they were followed by the other unit either. I really went here to be closer to my husband, whicch I currently am not anymore since the move, but oh well.

7. Discharge. This milestone is to come this summer. I’m going to move out of the psychiatric instituttion and live with my husband. I’ll continue to get some form of psychiatric treatment, but of course this is a step towards recovery of a “normal” life.

mumturnedmom
You Baby Me Mummy

What to Do If You Think You May Have a Mental Health Issue #Write31Days

31 Days of Mental Health

Welcome to day 31, the last day in the #Write31Days challenge on mental health. The month has gone by with me discussing lots of mental health issues. I have shared information and personal experience and hope you’ve been able to get something out of it. You might recognize some experiences or features of mental health issues I have discussed. Today, I will share what you can do if you suspect you may have a mental health problem.

First, like many people, I consulted Dr. Google when I realized I might have a mental health problem. You have already gotten some information on mental illness if you’ve read any of my posts in this series. You being a blog reader means you are familiar with the Internet. If you don’t know where to find reliable information on mental health, Psych Central is a good place to start. This site also has a forum and chat room for support. Obviously, no-one can there is equipped to diagnose or treat you.

If you decide you might need to see a mental health professional, it is good to know where to start. In some countries, you can consult a psychologist or therapist without a referral. In others, like the Netherlands, you can go see a counseling psychologist for short-term treatment withut a referral, but if you have more serious mental health problems, you need your GP’s referral to go see a mental health professional.

If you see a mental health professional for the first time, it is advisable to take your questions and issues with you on a piece of paper. You may want to bring a friend or family member to the introductory session, but that’s up to you. Most mental health professionals will know that patients today consult Dr. Google and will help you find reliable information about your concern. Those who are overly arrogant and pretend they know infinitely more than you do, may not be suitable. On the other hand, I’ve heard that some professionals tell patients to do their own research and don’t offer directions. I don’t see that as okay either.

Don’t come into a mental health professional’s office announcing you are sure you have a condition you’ve read about on my blog, on Psych Central or elsewhere. Making a diagnosis takes more than the patient’s report of their symptoms. Competent mental health professionals will not take your reported symptoms at face value. It may seem as though a mental health professional does not believe you when they ask to speak to a family member or do some tests on you. This is not the case, but family members can provide information you may not see as the affected person yourself, and tests ask questions you may not have thought of. They also help the clinician get a more objective idea of what to diagnose you with, if anything.

If you do not feel comfortable with a mental health professional at first, it may be because you feel uncomfortable talking about your mental health. However, if you don’t click with the provider, it’s totally okay to say so and ask for a referral to someone else. Every competent mental health professional should be okay with this.

My Experience With Therapy and Counseling #Write31Days

31 Days of Mental Health

Welcome to day 23 in the #Write31Days challenge on mental health. Today, I’ll focus on another question in the 30-day mental illness awareness challenge. For day 23, the topic is your opinion on therapy. I will share my experiences of therapy and my opinion on various approaches. I have decided to include both traditional psychotherapy approaches and non-verbal approaches.

I had my first experience of therapy as a child, when I had four sessions of play therapy. I didn’t like the therapist, didn’t have insight into my problems, and four sessions obviously wasn’t enough to garner any results. In hindsight, my play behavior did show my problems with rigid thinking, emotion regulation and behavioral control. For example, I’d throw out the dollhouse dolls with purple hair because “people don’t have purple hair”. I also preferred to play with toys that allowed me to show anger, such as toy guns. One vivid memory I have is of me trying to overflow the water tray. The therapist did show me why it wouldn’t work, but I tried anyway.

My first experience with verbal therapy was when I was nineteen and attending the rehabilitation center for the blind. Once again, I didn’t like the therapist, who appeared a bit inpatient towards my difficulties adjusting to blindness and misunderstanding of my social ineptitude. She tried to offer practical advice, while I felt I needed to process the rollercoaster ride that my life had become. Of course, time constraints – I had only about twelve sessions -, prevented us from going deeper.

During my first sixteen months in the psychiatric hospital, I didn’t have a psychologist. I did do movement therapy, which helped me greatly to release my emotional tension. It was here that I learned to rate my distress level – I came up with a system myself. Thhat being said, when later people asked me to rate my distress level, I was often stuck. This moveement therapist I had at the acute ward was one of the more helpful therapists I’ve had.

At the resocialization ward, I tried cognitive-behavioral therapy for a bit. It hardly worked, because I and my therapist agreed I had good reason to be anxious. Then, when I was diagnosed with DID and PTSD, the therapist pushed me to try EMDR, but I resisted. I didn’t have that severe PTSD symptoms, after all, and did have quite a bit of trouble with self-regulation and dissociation.

When I moved to my current institution, I got diagnosed with BPD. My therapist’s expertise was schema-focused therapy, an approach I’d wanted to use for a while. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. The therapist told one of my parts, who hides her inner weakness behind a stubborn attitude, that she’s a “punitive parent” and needs to disappear. I strongly feel that each part of my personality has a function, so this dismissive attitude didn’t fit me well. Besides, though I learned some from the book the therapist recommended, most of the information was just a bit too abstract.

This therapist left in 2014 and I’ve had a new psychologist for a little over a year now. With her, I focus on supportive counseling and rehabilitation. I find this is most constructive. I do hope that, in the future, I can get some formal psychotherapy again. I have a dialectical behavior therapy self-help book, which is quite interesting. Then again, I find it hard to make a long-term commitment to sticking to one thing to focus on. That is probably the main thing keeping me from engaging properly in psychotherapy.

First Steps Towards Independence: Blindness Rehabilitation in 2005

This week on the spin cycle, we’re discussing firsts. Last Friday, I visited a woman I first met at the blindness rehabilitation center in 2005. Another guy we both met there too also came over. This was my first time meeting them since I graduated from the rehabilitation center.

The rehabilitation center experience was quite interesting. I had just graduated from high school two months earlier and didn’t want to go straight to university. So in order to have some practice on my first steps towards independence, I became a resident there four to five days a week for four months.

The program was quite intensive. I had orientation and mobility training, occupational therapy, physical therapy, music, textile arts and handycrafts, as well as three different types of communication training and counseling with a psychologist. I also had vision therapy.

During orientation and mobility training, I learned to plan to go someplace and to travel there effectively using my white cane. I learned to be quite a good cane traveler even though I’d always had trouble using the cane correclty, and still do. After about six weeks at the center, I started using public transportation to go there on Monday and to travel back home on Thursday or Friday. I also learned to travel to and from the local supermarket and to use customer service to get my groceries.

Occupational therapy had several components to it. First, there was the teaching of housekeeping and cooking skills. I didn’t yet master these when I graduated from the center, so went on to live at an independence training home afterwards. Another part of occupational therapy was group-based training in compensating for our visual impairment with our other senses. This, for me, was quite easy in the practical sense, but my social skils difficulties emerged there. There was one great workshop on applying make-up without sight. I loved it.

I also had physical therapy because I have poor posture and had developed mild scoliosis as a result. Physical therapy wasn’t all that effective, because I didn’t practise the exercises out of session.

Vision therapy was very interesting. At first, I had a vision therapist who didn’t acknowledge my admittedly tiny fraction of residual vision. When at one of the communication sills training sessions though, another vision therapist joined the trainer and I arranged for sessions with her. My vision was still virtually non-existent, but I learned a lot about what I could and couldn’t do with it. I also had an opportunity to select NoIR sunglasses that would help me cope better with my light sensitivity. This vision therapist was very patient and thorough in answering my questions. Though in the end my emotional adjustment problems surfaced, which of course she wasn’t trained in dealing with, I did feel very much validated.

Music, textile arts and handycrafts were quite useful too. Though I didn’t practise what I learned there for another few years to come, the instructors there taught me that I could indeed do arts and crafts with no vision. Music wasn’t my cup of tea, so I stopped playing the keyboards after graduating from the center.

The communication skills training sessions were great. I took basic communication skills, assertiveness and communication about your visual impairment. I had one trainer for both basic communication skills and assertiveness and another for the communication about your visual impairment training. The first one was great at letting me see that, if I moved past my anxiety, I could be quite sociable. The second trainer was the one who cooperated with the vision therapist.

Counseling was the least useful bit about the rehabilitation program. The psychologist was blind herself and for one thing didn’t grasp my emotional adjustment issues. She focused on the fact that I had to put non-disabled values into perspective and for example learn to ask for help. Though I did accept this eventually, I still couldn’t cope with the many losses of vision loss. I don’t think a four-month-long rehabilitation program is enough for that anyway, as I still don’t fully accept this ten years on. However, the other problem was we just didn’t click in terms of communication styles. I didn’t open up easily and there just wasn’t enough time in the program for me to work on even just those issues that are due to blindness. I understand that, but the psychologist could’ve refrained from rushing me through a dozen issues.

I was a residential client there even though the rehabilitation center was in my home city. In the evenings, the clients spent lots of time amongst ourselves discussing our rehabilitation process. This was very healing to me. It also was a great opportunity to practise social skills.

Even though my rehabilitation was supposed to be my first step towards independence, I was in many ways at my highest point in terms of independence while there. I don’t like to admit this, since I did learn other sklls in the ten years since. Also, the fact that I didn’t become more self-reliant makes it look like I just need a kick in the pants. In fact, however, the program had lots of one-on-one instruction incorporated, which I can’t get now that I’m a mental patient. I still grieve this loss of independence, but this possibly has to do with my adjustment to my psychiatric illness.