Tag Archives: 2017

My Word for 2018

It’s already the second week of 2018 and I haven’t written about my goals or hopes or dreams for the year yet. Last year was a productive year, mostly because I finally moved out of the mental institution after 9 1/2 years. From there on, I’ve been attempting to move forward and live a healthier life in many different respects. Physically, I embarked on a weight loss, healthier eating and fitness journey. I was also referred to an occupational therapist for help with my mobility and fine motor impairments. For my mental health, I started dialectical behavior therapy.

I also started day activities once out of the institution. This is a huge accomplishment, as I could never handle the pressure of going to a day center for any prolonged amount of time. At first, I went to an industrial group, but I was later moved to a sensory-based group. This has been a very positive experience. I also started horseback riding in September and swimming with my husband in November. Lastly, I got an iPhone. All in all, I did a pretty godo job of ticking off the items of my 2017 bucket list.

It doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle. In 2017, I took two overdoses which required a night on the internal medicine ward. As I mentioned last Sunday, on Wednesday, I engaged in pretty bad self-injurious behavior at day activities. I’m still often very much stressed out.

On Writes Like a Girl, Nicole shared an interesting take on the cycle of life: she theorized that one year is for action and the next for maintenance. Her 2017, like mine, was totally about moving forward. She deliberately chooses 2018 to be a year for rest and calm. She will continue to move forward, but at a slower pace than she did in 2017. Same for me.

My word for 2018 is a word that fits in nicely with dialectical behavior therapy. The first skill we work on in DBT is mindfulness. Mindfulness is pretty much hyped up and I’m not too sure I fully understand it. Even so, I think it’s an important skill. Like Nicole, I need to do less and be more. My word for 2018, for this reason, is simply (or not so simply): be.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have goals for 2018. For example, I do still want to continue my healthy living and weight loss journey and set myself a new goal weight for the end of the year. However, I’m taking this slowly. After all, I’d rather lose the weight slowly and keep it off than lose it rapidly only to gain it all back.

Other than this, I don’t have any goals that require me to reach a certain end result. I mean, I’ve set myself a goal of keeping a jornal, but I’ve not set a requirement of how often or how much I need to write. I also really hope to blog more this year and I think I’m finally ready to ditch my mediocre Dutch blog and move my focus entirely back here.

What is your word for 2018?

Bucket List for 2017

It’s already January 9th. This means it’s a bit late for new year’s resolutions. I wrote about some dreams for the new year on my Dutch blog. The reason I called them dreams rather than resolutions is that I didn’t want to feel the pressure of having to actually keep them. I seem to like writing about my goals much more than actually pursuing them, after all. On my list of dreams was the mandatory weight loss goal that’s been sitting on my resolutions list for years. This year, I admitted that I mostly wrote it down out of a sense of obligation. I am just not that motivated for weight loss. In fact, yesterday I bought a bag of winegums and only shared them with my fellow patients because my husband threw around the risk of my developing diabetes. Now my blood sugar was in the low normal range last week when I had it measured, but still.

My most important goal, of course, is to get out of the freakn’ institution. Now my funding runs out at the end of the year anyway, so whether I’m ready or not I will be out then anyway. I can say that I’m finally feeling a bit ready though. It’s still hard, not knowing what sort of help I’ll get. Other than that I’m pretty much done with the institution, regardless of what my psychologist would like to believe.

Today, rather than repeating some general goals, I am going to write a bucket list of things I’d like to do in 2017. Here goes.

1. Learn to use an iPhone and buy one. I am waiting for the eye doctor who did my surgery in 2013 to write a referral for me to get iPhone use training at the blindness agency. Yes, it has to be an eye doctor referring you, which is stupid, since if you’re totally blind, what use is there in having an eye doc? I will either get this training at the residential home for elderly blind people in the institution town or at the blindness agency in the nearest big city, depending on whether I’m still in the institution once I can get started. Once I learn to use the iPhone, I want to buy one too. (By the way, iPhones are the most user-friendly smartphones for blind people, which is why I’d get training to use an iPhone.)

2. Learn to use Windows 10. I am pretty sure my computer isn’t going to survive 2017. This means getting a new one and that means learning to use Windows 10. Yes, I’ll still want a computer if I buy myself an iPhone, because smartphones cannot do everything PCs can and vice versa. I need to convince my new health insurance to fund a new version of JAWS, because my current one doesn’t work with Windows 10. I initially thought I’d switch to NVDA, a free screen reader, but it still has some major drawbacks.

3. Go swimming. My husband badly wants to go on vacation this year. I don’t care for vacation that much, but I’d love to swim in the sea. Alternatively, I want to finally go swimming at the pool again.

4. Choose and buy some more furniture for in my room at home. Currently, there’s just my desk and the remains of a cupboard. My husband wants me to get a bed in that room. I saw a nice bunk when we went to Ikea on Saturday, but it cost €280. I at least hope I’ll have a nicely-furnished room by the time I move out of the institution.

5. Leave the institution, for goodness’ sake. Need I explain?

What is on your 2017 bucket list?