Surrender

Last week, it was decided that, for a while, my day actvities hours will be cut. It was also suggested that my current day activities center, which caters primarily to people with intellectual disabilities, may not be the best fit for me. I’m not intellectually disabled, after all. I’m autistic, but if you’re of at least average intelligence, somehow that doesn’t count as a developmental disability.

I had to accept this, to surrender to the decision made for me. But I decided not to give up. I am okay with this being a temporary thing, but I don’t want to be shoved around like a cart. I’m a person, after all. I know I don’t fit neatly into one dsablity label box. I am both blind and autistic and have mental health issues.

Over the past week I alternated between fight and surrender. When surrendering, I was depressed and didn’t feel like there’d ever be a place for me. I even pushed my husband away, because I wasn’t sure I could choose between him and proper care. Now I know this is a false dilemma.

When in fight mode, I felt energized. I’ve been making phone calls, thinking up next steps. I have an appointment with my community psychiatric nurse on Monday to discuss how to proceed.

It doesn’t help this wasn’t the first time I fell between the cracks care-wise, but in a way, it does. I know how to navigate the system, after all, and I know not to surrender to a poor quality of life.

I am linking up this post with Five Minute Friday. The prompt this week is “surrender”.

6 thoughts on “Surrender

  1. After reading your post, I was reminded of the saying that God never closes a door without opening a window. I am praying your window has a better view than the door that was closed on you. Keep fighting!
    Thanks so much for posting this. You inspire me!
    FMF #9 this week.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Astrid,
    I am proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. I am glad you’re blogging Astrid since blogging takes us away from ourselves and our problems while we try to empower those who come to our websites.
    I met you at Nikki’s blog party she had over the weekend. Maybe you can check out my blog if you need any blogging tips. That’s what I write about. I also have blog parties like Nikki.
    If you’d like to check out my site, please click this link:
    https://mostlyblogging.com. For some reason, when people click my name or picture, it takes them to a blog I haven’t published at in three years!
    Nice to meet you.
    Janice

    Like

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