Monthly Archives: July 2016

Disappointment #WotW

This week was a lot less exciting than last week. It was really a big disappointment. That’s why I choose this as my word of the week.

On Monday, I had an okay day. I went to day activities and made a simple soap. There was only one activity staff so I had to be able to do the soaping mostly independently. The staff complimented me on the fact that I was able to be relatively independent indeed.

On Tuesday, I was supposed to leave for the potential new day activity place at 10AM. Since I got up really early, I wanted to go to day activities at my unit for a bit before the cab arrived. Unfortunately, the day activity room was closed because there was no staff available. Both of our regular staff are on vacation and apparently all subs had to work someplace else. An E-mal had been sent out notifying the nursing staff that the day activity room was closed, but only the nurses at the locked ward had received it. I was early, so my nurse went to morning report or something after dropping me off. Twenty minutes later, I panicked because no activity staff had shown up. A nurse from the locked unit came by and informed me that the day activity room was closed. Fortunately, someone was able to call my unit so that a nurse could come pick me up.

The cab arrived exactly on time and drove me to the supported employment building in the city where the day activity place is. Supported employment has largely been discontinued, so the building now houses other services, like the day activity place. The cab driver at first couldn’t find the entrance. Once he found it, I announced my arrival to the receptionist. It turned out the day activity place was in a faraway corner of the building and you had to walk through many corridors to get there. I was nearly run over by a supported employment person on a forklift truck. Those long corridors and the forklift truck gave me the impression that I would never be able to get from reception to the day activity room independently. Quite a bummer.

I arrived in a cafeteria where a large number of people were drinking coffee and chattering. I was seated by a day activity staff and we chatted some. A consumer got seated across the table from me and tried to chat me up. Not what I wanted that moment. Finally, my independent consumer advocate arrived and we got talking about what I expected out of day activities. I mentioned my new hobby of soap making, but we didn’t go into that. The staff member talked about ceramics and such. I couldn’t follow half the conversation by now, because I was overloaded.

We went to check out the actual arts room, which was quite crowded too. It was a disappointment. Next Tuesday, we’re going to have a look at a day activity place that’s part of the same organization but in another city. This place is supposed to be a little less overwhelming. I hope so.

My mother-in-law came to pick me up and offered to have lunch together. We ate a delicious chicken salad at what my husband later said was quite an expensive restaurant. My mother-in-law had gotten the idea of eating out there and I wasn’t there when she paid for us, so I won’t let myself be consumed with guilt. When she dropped me off at home, I gave her one of the goat’s milk soaps with honey that I’d made last week. She did allow me to use the pic she took, but I wasn’t able to get it off Facebook. I slept the entire afternoon.

On Weednesday, I had a meeting at home with a person from the mental health agency’s home support team. Two people came by and they hardly introduced themselves. That set the tone for the meeting. The whole meeting was one big disappointment. It turns out they can only offer two hours a week of home support and you don’t get to be able to phone someone if needed inbetween appointments. I can’t remember much else, except that they asked me how I see myself in two years’ time. I couldn’t answer that question right then and they talked about how it’s my life and I need to be able to get meaning out of it and stuff. As if I don’t know that.

Finally, they said that I might benefit from the assertive community treatment team helping me and then home support coming by twice a week to unburden assertive community treatment. I’m not sure I want anything to do with this home support team at all, given how they treated me in this meeting. They were truly all patronizing and yet telling me I need to be able to do this and that and whatever. Since my current treatment provider is already trying to get me signed up for the assertive community treatment team, I’m not interfering with that. When the people left, I was so disappointed I had destructive urges. Thankfully, I got to go back to the institution that afternoon.

Thursday and Friday went by in a blur. I only went to day activities for a short while on Thursday, because a male sub who didn’t know stuff was there. My named nurse sent an E-mail to my psychologist asking her to schedule an appointment with me. I’d done the same early that week, but still my psychologist replied that if I wanted an appointment, I could contact her. Go figure.

Altogether, this whole week was filled with smaller and bigger disappointments. I am really hoping next week is better.

The Reading Residence

Upbeat #WotW

Another more than a week has gone by. This week was pretty intense. I have been in a relatively good mood most of the time. Also, I made some good progress within the last few days. For this week, I am participating in Word of the Week again and my word is “upbeat”.

Monday started out not too great. I had a conflict with one of my activity staff. In the morning, I had been busy with quite a difficult soap making project and had asked for help a little too many times. My activity staff had, or so she said, been attending to me constantly. She didn’t say so till the end of the morning and said that I couldn’t make soap in the afternoon, because she’d be the only staff in attendance. I was pissed and had an anger outburst. After I calmed down a bit the nurses asked what was up. I told them and a nurse accompanied me to the activity room after lunch to talk to the activity staff. Both of us had been overreacting a bit it turned out and she had been offering help sometmes when it wasn’t needed. In the afternoon, I made an easier-to-make soap and did it mostly independently. On Tuesday and Wednesday I also made soap and had a lot of fun doing so.

On Thursday, I would be leaving for home in the afternoon. I had gotten a letter from the local social consultation team and had handed it to my social worker. I had some trouble scheduling an appointment with her, but eventually, we worked something out. Turned out the letter wasn’t anything we needed to do anything about.

Early in the afternoon, I got a call from my independent consumer advocate telling me that he had made an appointment for me to go take a look at a day activity place next Tuesday. The place had been mentioned during the kitchen table talk with the social consultant and independent consumer advocate, but I had apparently erroneously thought that my town didn’t have a contract with this organization. I will visit the place on Tuesday at 11AM. Depending on how I like that place, we may take a look at another place that’s part of the same organization later on.

The consumer advocate also told me that the social consultant would be calling me about an appointment with the mental health agency for home support services. She called me while I was in the cab on my way home. I will have a meeting with the mental health agency’s home support person on Wednesday at 9AM. My consumer advocate will also be attending that meeting with me. If this and the day activity thing go well, the social consultant is hoping to proceed with getting things arranged that same week, because she will be on maternity leave after that. For those who don’t know, a social consultant is a local civil service person who makes decisions about funding for community care. Because I am now institutionalized and will be going home, a new decision regardng funding will need to be made. Of course, I don’t expect things to move that fast and the social consultant can of course hand over my case to a colleague. Ttill I’m hoping they’ll reach a decision about funding for home care and day activities within a few weeks. That will make it much easier for me to prepare for actual discharge out of the institution.

I went home Thursday evening. On Friday, my husband had to be at work by 6AM, so the alarm clock went off at 4:20. I slept some more but, once my husband was off to work, I could hardly sleep any longer. I had somewhat of a difficult morning, but practising mindfulness helped me get through it. I was upbeat in the afternoon, when a Facebook friend who also makes soap came by. I had met her specifically through soap making, but we also had some fun chatting. We made a lip balm, sugar scrub and goat’s milk melt and pour soap with honey.

Today, I’m tired but still upbeat. The nurses made us fresh macaroni. That’s one of my ward’s summer traditions. I must honestly say my husban’ds macaroni is better, but then again this macaroni is much, much better than the lame excuse for food we get everyday.

Like I said, except for Monday, I’ve been feelign mostly upbeat this week. I am still loving my soaping craft and an looking forward to the progress we’ll make next week.

The Reading Residence

If Social Media Dies, Make Soap

Gosh, over a week has passed and I didn’t write. It’s not because I didn’t feel inspired as much. After all, July is National Journal Writing MOnth. So are January, April and October, but I hadn’t heard about NaJoWriMo until late April. This month, I’ve had a prompt delivered to my inbox everyday, but I didn’t feel like writing. The reason is that I am in the midst of a new perseveration. Yeah, you guessed it right, I’ve jumped head first into the soap making craft. On Mama’s Losin’ It, one of the writing prompts this week asks what hobby you’d pick up if social media died tomorrow. This is what I’d do.

I have been making various different kinds of soaps. I do melt and pour soaping, so of course I didn’t technically make the soap myself, but I have tried various kinds of soap for the craft. So far, I like the cheapest kind best, but that supplier takes three to six business days to deliver and I’d run out of soap last Friday. That, plus the SLES that’s in that soap, made me decide to get all-natural soap at another store. I especially don’t like this soap’s pre-melted texture, but once melted, it’s easy to work with. The vendor warned that it may not be the best soap to work with layers with, but I made a layered soap that turned out quite good. One of the colors is supposed to be gold but it turned out yellowish white because I hadn’t shaken up the colorant enough before use. I will look into how to get it to look better.

Layered Soap

I have also tried my hand at body lotion making. The instructions I posted last week, weren’t correct. I made body lotions using a recipe I found online and almost everything went wrong that could’ve gone wrong. Like, I didn’t know that I had to heat the water phase, so I didn’t do this. This meant no or little emusification. The site I got the recipe from is also into all-natural stuff, so they probably deliberately skipped the preservative. Since I made a lotion out of mint tea, that meant it’d gone off within a day. I have decided not to spend any money on this hobby for a month, since I already spent way too much on it so far, so I cannot buy the preservative until then. No lotion making for a while then.

I do, however, greatly enjoy this craft. One of the good parts about it is, of course, sharing my work. I do this on Facebook, so if that died tomorrow, I might not enjoy it as much. Then again, if no-one used social media anymore because it died, maybe I’d connect with other soapers through other venues. Forums and E-mail lists aren’t social media, right?

Speaking of Facebook, however, I did connect with a woman who doesn’t live too far from the tiny village and who is willing to soap with me at home. She’ll first visit me next week. I don’t know whether I could make real connections with people if any online connection for social purposes died. After all, I met all my long-time acquaintances online as well as my husband.

That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy the soaping craft at all. Maybe there’d actually not be as much pressure if social media didn’t exist, because I wouldn’t know what great soaps other people make. I currently make the majority of my soaps for people I know in real life, too. They’re staff and fellow patients at my institution, so I do sometimes wonder whether I’ll still enjoy this craft when I just have my husband and our tiny circle of acquaintances. We’ll just have to see.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Currently – July 2016

I skipped the Currently linky, hosted by Anne and Jenna last month. This month, however, the words appealed to me, so I’m participating again.

Toasting

This word was what drew my attention to this moth’s post. One of the nurses was laid off in late June and she gave us patients a great toaster. The nurses already had one in the office, but we weren’t allowed to use it, because we had been bad at keeping ours clean, which had then broken down. Now, so far, we’re keeping the new toaster in good condition. I toasted a croque monsieur on it yesterday and it was delicious.

Going

For some walks. My new gravatar is a picture taken about three weeks ago when my husband and I walked along the water a few towns away from the tiny village we live in. Other than that, I’m not going anywhere much except for extending my week-ends on home leave. I am planning on starting ot stay home on Mondays by the 18th.

Smelling

Blue Soap

Vanilla, coconut and banana everywhere. These are the three fragrance oils that came with my soap making starter kit. I have truly contracted the soap making virus and have made so many soap hearts already I have almost lost count. Above is a picture of one of my best ones. People are now also asking for other scents, so I ordered three new fragrance oils that are due to arrive tomorrow: strawberry, cinnamon and violets. I also ordered a new mold.

Wearing

T-shirts that I’ve become too big for (or let’s just say that they’ve shrunk). I hate clothes shopping, so I tried to order some new T-shirts online, but the style I wanted was sold out.

Wishlisting

Way too many soap making supplies. I ordered many of the things I had on my wishlist already, but still want more. The store I ordered my starter kit at celebrates its eleventh anniversary today, so they’re offering discounts till Sunday. Of course, discounts don’t mean you won’t spend money.

I’m hoping my husband can also take me to a budget store, so I can look for storage boxes for my fragrance oils and colorants, empty lotion bottles, packaging and some other things.

Soap making aside, however, I badly want a new blender, since someone took apart my last one and neither I nor the nurses can fix it so it won’t leak.

What have you been up to lately?