Screw you, #BEDN. I screwed up the day after I planned to continue writing everyday this month. Yesterday was a bit stressful. I baked an apple pie to remember the eighth anniversary of my psychiatric institutionalization, but I also felt overwhelemd with memories from the day of my crisis. In addition, yesterday was designed to be plan your epitaph day by the inventors of weird holidays. I only found out through this week’s #TuesdayTen. I was originally planning on writing a post on tips for coping with suicidal thoughts for #TuesdayTen, but the pressure of having to think up ten coping strategies and the doubts as to whether it’d fit in, made me skip the occasion. The idea stuck around though, so I’m going to write down some coping tips today.
The first important key is realizing when depression or despair sets in before you reach rock bottom. When you are acutely suicidal, most of the tips I’ll mention below will sound completely useless. However, if you’ve realized you are depressed or otherwise severely distressed, you may be able to enlist the help of others in staying safe. Here are some tips that can help you through some suicidal ideation. When you are actively planning suicide, these tips may no longer work and you’ll need to go to the emergency room or psychiatric crisis service.
1. Enlist the support of family or friends. Like I already said, supporters, such as family may be able to help you remember why you want to live. If not, they may be able to intervene to keep you safe whilst getting a mental health professional involved. When I was in my crisis in 2007, I had no support in the city I was in at the time. That is, I had my parents, but they weren’t particularly helpful (and I honestly can’t fully blame them) at the time.
2. If you don’t have family or friends to support you, there are support sites and telephone hotlines for people in crisis around the world. While again, if you are in acute danger, you need to go to the emergency department or psychiatric crisis service, when you are still able to talk it through, do so.
3. Think of what your goals are, what you want to get or avoid with suicide. Obviously, religious beliefs about an afterlife aside, you won’t gain anything from suicide. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t seem like it. Some people believe: “At least I’ll be able to rest then.” In this sense, what you want to avoid through suicide is important too. Discuss with your family or a mental health professional how you can reach this goal while remaining alive. For example, I knew as I was talking to the crisis service psychiatrist in 2007 that I didn’t really want to die – I mean, who wants to? -, but that I couldn’t cope with my life as it was anymore.
4. Think of the people you’ll leave behind. No, I don’t mean thinking of them having to make funeral arrangements and how selfish you are for leaving your family with the financial burden. That is not going to be helpful. Just for your information, as a family member, don’t ever burden a suicidal relative with this kind of crap, no matter how confident you are that they are “just doing it for attention”. However, if you do have people you still care about when you’re in despair, thinking about them can help lift your mood. Despair is an incredibly lonely feeling, but there are people who care about you.
5. Be careful about chanigng medications or other treatments for depression while you are actively suicidal. Though electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is relatively safe for severely depressed people, antidepressants carry the risk of increasing suicidality. Always be sure to discuss suicidal ideation with your mental health professional and don’t change your medication regimen without close supervision, preferably from a psychiatrist.