When I’d Grow Up…

Last Friday when I was at my parents’, we had a long discussion. We often do. My sister was frustrated that she still doens’t have a “real” job at 27. Neither do I at 29, but it doesn’t frustrate me as much unless others are talking about how much of a failure they are for not having a “real” (or “real” enough) job. After all, we measure what we want to achieve by what the people around us (want to) achieve.

My sister is the only memeber of my family with a college degree. Nonetheless, my father attended college and my mother would’ve wanted to attend post-secondary education at least, which she never got the opportunity for. Therefore, it was instilled in me that I need to achieve. I knew at an early age that I was later going to a high level high school and maybe even university. When I was twelve and starting secondary education, I wanted to be a mathematician or a linguist when I grew up.

It hadn’t always been this way. When I was in Kindergarten, probably I wanted to be a princess or a Mommy like every other girl in my class. Starting by first grade however, I wanted to be a writer and I continued to want to be a writer far into high school.

My parents did of course tell me that you couldn’t make a lviing out of writing, so I had various other aspirations throughout school. For the longest time, I wanted to be a teacher, switching form elementary education when I was myself in elementary school to various secondary subjects when I was in high school to finally wanting to be a college professor when I’d finished high school. I did have some bad thoughts about burning out while teaching and landing on disability, but never quite gave into these thoughts.

I also for a long time wanted to get married and start a family. When I was an adolescent, I for a while thought I was a lesbian. I can’t remember what I thought regarding marriage and children at that time. Of course, gay couples have been able to legally marry since 2001 here in the Netherlands, but this was the same time when I thought (as it turns out correctly) that I was on the autism spectrum. I thought this meant (as it turns out incorrectly) that autistics didn’t marry, so probably neither would I. In fact, I didn’t give a long-term relationship much thought until it happened with my husband.

As it turns out, I did study linguistics for a bit in 2007 and was planning on becoming a scientist in this field. It never worked out. Obviously, I never even attempted to become a teacher. I am however somewhat of a writer now, having had my first piece published in a book last June. I am also of course married and happily so!

Mama’s Losin’ It

Everyday Gyaan
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29 thoughts on “When I’d Grow Up…

  1. There is a lot of pressure for people to find well paid jobs and be promoted continuously, especially if that’s what your friends are doing. Some people need longer to find what they really want to do though so it’s silly to compare ourselves to our peers. A lot of the time people end up in jobs that they don’t even want so it’s much better to take your time!

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  2. What is a ‘real’ job though, what is real for one person isn’t for the next. My daughter is 11 and wants to be an animator for Disney when she leaves school. She does have talent as an artist her drawings are amazing. I want her to be happy and do something she loves and hope her dreams come true. Well done on your writing and getting your book published x

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  3. A real job. For the longest time that term would offend me. I would have people tell me that I needed a real job. I am the mother of three and my youngest has CP, Autism and a so many other problems that go along with those issues.
    I always wanted to be a surgeon.

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  4. I always used to say that one day I would get a ‘real job’ but now I am proud that I am doing something I enjoy, whilst being able to look after my children and making money from it. Well done on your published piece!

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    1. So true! I didn’t disclose however that my sister doesn’t like what she does, though the pressure she feels doesn’t help. While I haven’t become as successful as I wanted to become, I like the fact that I write. I think unfortunately that financial pressures also play a role though. Like, I am on disability and unlikely to be deemed fit for work at my next assessment (I saw the requirements here in the Netherlands and don’t meet at least two of them). For this reason, I’m likely financially secure for the next so many years (the fit for work assessment may not happen till 2018). This means I can indeed do what I want and the psessure is lessened.

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  5. The term “real job” makes me so cross, I’ve had friends in the past ask me when I will apply for a real job because I’m a freelancer. My work pays the bills therefore it’s real!

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  6. I’m mid 20’s, a mum of two and still don’t know what ‘real’ job I want to do. I’m pretty happy in my little retail job but secretly still have my childhood dream of wanting a farm! Lottery win needed x

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  7. I am right there with you hun. I don’t have a ‘real job’ and sometime I think long and hard as to what that actually means. Its such a hard one but my mum always says whats out there for you no one can take so when your time comes for that ‘real job’ it will be there for you or your sister unless this is it HAHA

    Charlotte x

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  8. When I grow up I want to be happy, I am not sure what that really means, the growing up or the happy part. I am happy now, and I don’t have a ‘real’ job and I don’t feel grown up either – even though I am a mother – but there was so much focus on getting jobs and what you want to do – I didn’t know as a teen what made me happy then, never mind what would make me happy now and for the rest of my life!

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  9. Growing up, I was always told that photography was a hobby and not a job. It took a lot of years studying things I was never happy with and working in a job I didn’t like before at 29, married with 2 children, I went to Uni to study what I wanted to study. I am in the process of building my own business, but I also had another baby, so it’s slow going. Never let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing x

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  10. I have never really known what I wanted to ‘do’. I have just evolved into being a mother and blogger and loving it. Sometimes life just has to take you where it wants to.

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