Food. I am addicted to it. Unfortunately, unlike other addictive substances, such as alcohol, cigarettes or drugs, food is something every living being needs. It isn’t like, when you become a part of Overeaters Anonymous or the like, you can abandon food like those in Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous abandon their substance of abuse. I still fail to understand the twelve steps when applied to food.
Of course, I could abandon candy, chips, and other snacks. I bought a bag of candies twice this week and, each time, ate all of it within half an hour. In this sense, I’m not doing as well as I said on my blog that I was doing on Tuesday.
I tend to fall into the trap of believing that, since we need food, it doesn’t matter if I eat a bag of candies in half an hour. We don’t need those. Candies are addictive. Refined sugar wouldn’t have been approved by the FDA or similar organizations had it been first introduced today.
A few weeks ago, as I was panicking about some kind of poinsonous thing my husband was talking about, he said I ironically do not fear one of the worst poisons that we consume daily: refined sugar. I have to agree.
This afternoon, I knew that really I shouldn’t go to the store when I asked a nurse for a walk. And when I went to the store anyway, my first intention was to buy tomato soup only. Not terribly healthy, but there really isn’t anything healthy in this store. Fruit and veggies aren’t sold in my institution town’s only store, so well. I ended up buying a bag of my favorite candies too and genuinely promised myself I’d eat them mindfully and actually enjoy them. Not so.
Food. I really need to say the first step of the twelve steps of OA, which is that I’m powerless over it. I realize I truly am, but sometimes, I’m stuck in the trap of believing that you can’t be powerless over somethign that, well, everybody needs.
This post was inspired by one of Mari L. McCarthy’s journaling prompts in her free eBook Mari’s 143 Juicy Journaling Prompts. The prompt was to choose a four-letter word starting with “F”, and to journal about it.