Everyone defines success differently, as a post on Single Mother Ahoy! illustrates. The author starts out by measuring her success through her child’s achievements. As a childless woman, I will not measure my success by parenthood – even though I do esteem successful mothers higher than myself. That may be because they dominate the blogosphere, and my blog is one of a few things I use to measure my success by.
Success is not necessarily the same as quality of life, though it is related. For non-disabled people, it often is the same. At least, all the research I read defining quality of life for disabled people – and I assume the research is written from a non-disabled perspective -, determines quality of life through success. More so, it defines quality of life by success in areas important to non-disabled people. Common examples of measures of quality of life are employment, independent living and a long-term relationship. By these standards, my quality of life is fair, having achieved one of these three.
I understand people derive their quality of life from societal success. After all, we compare ourselves to others, and others are mostly non-disabled, middle- to upper-class people.
Then again, quality of life does not need to be derived from success in the workforce or on the relationship market. That doesn’t mean that quality of life and success are not related, as I said. I derive quality of life from writing for my blog, and I’m pretty sure I’d feel a lot worse about myself if I got no views or comments and a lot better if I got more than I get now. I actually believe that even the most severely disabled people derive quality of life from success. Only they and I measure success differently than non-disabled people do.
That being said, even non-disabled people probably derive part of their quality of life from relatively small successes. I refuse to believe I’m the only blogger who feels their writing contributes to their quality of life even though they don’t earn anything through it and even though they’re not receiving tons of views. I refuse to believe I’m the only crafter who crafts only for the joy of it and the community that interacting with fellow crafters brings. Honestly, these small joys are much more important to me than my high-level high school diploma ever was or a job ever will be.