The As of My Life

My Interet access got cut off last week due to data overuse. I have a mobile USB modem, similar to a cellphone Internet connection, and until recently had virtually unlimited data use. That was changed to 1GB/month without my knowledge (I’d forgotten to issue an address change). I used this up, plus E100,- in extra data use, within three days and was cut off. Today is the start of a new month, so I have an Internet connection agian, though I have to be very careful not to overuse this time. I obviously switched ISPs, but the new modem won’t be delivered till sometime in the coming week. This is the reason I’ve hardly been online – I published Wednesday’s post while at my husband’s -, and I’ve not been able to catch up with other bloggers much.

You’d think I’d have a ton to write about with a week of Internet-free time. Well, since I get most of my inspiration online, I don’t. Today, I am therefore writing up the ABCs of my life, or at least the As. I got this idea from a post I came across while browsing PoCoLo, a general interest linky. I go with the letter A only because I can’t be motivated to think of something for every letter, and I don’t intend to post a follow-up.

Acceptance: this is a tough one. I strive for and advocate for acceptance of myself, autistics, disabled people in general a lot, but do I accept myself? I honestly don’t think so.

Adjustment: related to acceptance. Adjustment is a constant process, because life constantly changes. You can adjust without accepting the new life situation.

Advocacy: what I do a lot on my blog, but fail to do in daily life. My husband has pushed me to stick up for myself in regards to the difficulties I’m facing in the institution, but I don’t. I fear that I’ll lose my support if I do.

Alters: I still feel them, though not as much as I used to. Maybe they were fake all along. Maybe they’ve gone in hiding, being told they’re fake so much over the past year. I don’t know.

America: not really relevant anymore, but I dreamt of living there when I was a teen. Still sometimes wish I could live in the U.S., but I know I never will.

Autism: that one is obvious, though people around me still like to question it. In this sense I can totally relate to Joanna, who inspired me to write this post.

Autonomy: what I ultimatley strive for. Autonomy means being able to direct your own life. This is not the same as not needing support or care. You can be perfectly autonomous while needing lots of help. What it means is making your own life choices and taking responsibility for them. I really wish the care system, with its mouthful of deinstitutionalization and self-reliance, would help clients on the road to true autonomy.

3 thoughts on “The As of My Life

  1. I am so glad I inspired you to write something. Your post touched me in so many ways, acceptance is a hard thing to achieve when you are perceived to be different……..yet we are all different xx

    Like

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