There’s an interesiting post up on the World of Psychology blog about ways to become more independent and less co-dependent. According to Isha Judd, author of Love Has Wings and Why Walk When You Can Fly, most people are somewhat co-dependent, be it on our partners, friends or social groups. Indeed, most people have some maladaptive beliefs about ourselves and others. This is in line with my husband’s observations when paging through Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey Young, when he said not only borderline personality sufferers but most people could benefit from this book.
In the above blog post, Margarita Tartakovsky first defines autonomy as being the author of your own life. It means owning your own reality, with your perceptions, thoughts, feelings, etc.
Autonomy derives from self-love. And let’s be truly honest: it is terribly hard to love yourself (without appearing like a narcissist). Fortunately, you can learn to lovve yourself. Healthy self-love means realizing you’re just as important as anyone else, and that your feelings and thoughts are valid. If you love yourself, you put as much effort into caring for yourself as you would for others, consider your needs, and accept yourself for who you are. Meeting your needs, making your own decisions and being assertive are also three of the ways suggested by Tartakovsky to enhance your autonomy.