i’ve been thinking of a few issues lately, and I want a way to write them out. Particularly, I’ve been thinking about various topics surrndoung my various diagnoses. I’ve only got a few diagnoses – not nearly as many as my Facebook group memberships would suggest -, but I’ve had many off-the-record labels.
Firstly, I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s or autism spectrum disorder. My parents say the diagnostician just gave me thsi label in order to get me services. My former therapist in the old city institution doubted my diagnosis too, thinking my theory of mind is too good for ASD. Now that whole theory-of-mind thing is controversial, but well. This therapist wondered whether a more correct diagnosis would be acquired brain injury, because I had a brain bleed as a newborn which resulted in hydrocephalus. I used this off-the-record label to gain access to some groups for brain injury and am finding them very supportive. (Yes, I did explain my situation in each of the groups and made sure I wasn’t seen as an intruder.) I’ve asked people in the autism groups for their opinion on the brain injury/autsim link, and 90% replied that autism is purely genetic. Kind fo shortsighted in my opinion.
I’ve also been thinking about my mild but slightly worsening motor deficits. I always self-identified as dyspraxic but have recently gotten to wonder what my diagnosis was as a child. I saw a physiatrist (physical disabilities doctor) until around age eight and have many of the syptooms and complications of mild cerebral palsy, including a significant left/right disparity, the need for a cast on my left foot at age five and scoliosis. These issues do not seem to happen to dyspraxics.
In a way, diagnosis shouldn’t matter. I know this. I worry sometimes that I’m only seeking for diagnoses so that I can collect an impressive list of labels. I remember about ten years ago reading something about “Münchausen by Modem”, ie. the tendency of some people to join Internet groups for diseases they don’t have. Am I a classic case of this? I’m not sure, but some people think so. At least, the people in the Dutch DID organization thought so. I guess it’s about time I work on developing a disorder-free sense of self.